sweet ass

mariah, elle, meh.How To Become An Internet Rock Goddess in an E-Z 24 Hours:

Follow my daily actions and you too can be a fucking star…………

–I took some pictures.

–I called my brother and made plans to go boozing this weekend.

–I went to a staff meeting.

–I ordered some tapes for the video camera.

–I filed invoices for lots of money.

–I laughed at this inappropriate joke:
“So, a girlfriend asks her boyfriend; “Honey, how do you spell pedophile?” The boyfriend says “Now, darlin’, that’s an awful big word for an 8 year old.”

–I ate a granny smith apple, and salt & vinegar potato chips.

–I got a postcard from D. about bitchpants; as well as a J. Crew coupon from her I probably won’t use. If anyone wants 30% off let me know and I’ll send it to you.

–I played on allmusic.com, just typing in words to see if there were any bands really named those things.

–I called Significant Other at work and told him I loved him; because I really, really do.

–I sent a lime-green graduation card to Mike.

–I went running with S. and we huffed and puffed and whined.

–I had indigestion from aforementioned potato chips.

–I yawned.

–I made an appointment to meet a woman named Debbie at Denny’s for lunch this week.

–I made Xeroxes.

–I decided if I ever have a daughter, I might name her Helene, because that’s pretty.

–I smelled the flowers in the lobby, eliciting a very strange look from the receptionist.

–So I waved at the receptionist.

–I made plans with Mike to eat Mexican tomorrow. Food, not actual Mexicans.

–I went with Sig Other to the batting cages.

–I learned how to throw a Frisbee.

–I talked to some sales rep from Adobe, and gave him a fake name and phone number to call so he would leave me alone. He was so Canadian.

–I got a present from S.’s vacation to Florida, a keychain of a pooping hippo.

–I fed my fish, Husefell.

–I got a voicemail from MattWithTwoT’s, saying he was up $200 in Atlantic City.

–I listened to the new Weezer album.

This sounds like a fun day, huh? You are so jealous. I can smell it. Men fear me; transsexuals love me; women want to be me. It’s fun being an internet rock goddess.

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