get on the floor and do the new kids dance

blue peopleGood, Saucy Things:

There are good things, yes.

1. So, my brother has some seriously long toes. He has size like, 15 or something feet to begin with, but SHIT. His toes. They are so ugly and funny. I wish I had a picture of them, because on days like today, I need his toes.

2. When I was in Harrisonburg there was a guy that lived in my dorm who was black. He was great. Anyways, he and I were pals. When he was around his other black friends, I would make it a point to run up to him and say things like “HEY T, my BROTHER-MAN, what’s up my homie?” and things like “hey, I’ve got my gack ready! Let’s roll! I am jonesin’ for some phat beats!” Tarik, I miss you and I know you miss my crazy cracka ass as well. I can’t believe you went and became friends with my ex from high school. It’s like two crazy worlds that weren’t meant to intersect DID! Wow!

For those white kids not in the know, it’s GAT. Not Gack. See how clever and punny I am? I mean, was? When I was 19?

3. I read somewhere that a girl from Grinell college once knew someone who made a bong out of a Resuscitation Annie. FUNNY.

4. I do not usually consider myself a khaki wearin fool but DAMN. I am wearing some dope khakis. They are flat front button-fly Polo. When I bought them, I was much much skinnier, so they were big enough that they almost appeared to be ALTERNATIVE KHAKIS. That, and they are a great color. When I got them, not that many people were wearing khakis. Now, they kind of still just look like plain boring khakis. But I still think they are fresh. Yo. I am KEEPING IT REAL.

5. There’s a joke about my friend Fridge that is really funny, but no one would get it if I were to really it here. We came up with it on Saturday night. So everyone just needs to take my word for it. It’s funny. Okay?

Bad, Not Hip Things

I’m having a nasty day. I don’t really deserve to be bitching about such minor things, and that makes me angry at MYSELF, and then I get more grumpy.

1. My car is making rattling noises. They are deep, and sound like an old man coughing. I listen to my CDs so loud, I am sure that this has been going on for quite some time and I haven’t noticed it.

2. I am broke. I have paid a dumpload of money to go on vacation, (and when I say vacation, I mean being blown to bits by terrorists. Okay, yeah, so I’m a little on edge about flying to Europe.) and now I might need to buy a car too? Does this mean I might have to move back in with my parents? I feel like I’m going backward.

3. Having to wake up at ass o’clock for a Baptism. And thusly, not partaking in Kegging the night before to the high degree of my liking. Merh.

4. Someone just told me there is a tornado warning, and I sit right next to the biggest damn plate glass window you have ever seen in your life. I used to think this window was rad, but I have since changed my mind. When it’s nice out, I longingly stare at the outside world waiting for recess. That, and the tornado.

5. Work. Give me a raise already. I am trapped in “Office Space.” People I work with are driving me batty. I would go so far as to say I would like to drown some of them in a sack like kittens. But that would be going to far, wouldn’t it? Probably.

6. My head feels like a Drunk Tapdancing Guy is throwing a party in my sinuses.

7. Personal Property tax. Yes, I haven’t paid that yet. Also, car insurance UP MY BUTT.

So, for the most part, the numbers don’t really show it, but the good still outweighs the bad. I’m alive, right?

Other stuff: The Samples were good put not nearly ROCKIN, Sigur Ros tomorrow. And Wilco this week too. Also, I need oil in my car.

This isn’t a democracy, it’s a CHEEROCRACY.

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