you’re morse code, tapped with hammers

Forty-two days til “change” is out. How can you not have a small innocent crush on these guys? My lands.

No one says “my lands” enough anymore.

The Only Weekend in Review You’ll Ever Need. Ever.

Please, if Maty-pooh-bear will let me have a fekkin word in edgewise. What the h. Welcome to the all Mat channel. Same Mat time, same Mat place. Ouch, that sucked. It was so obvious. It really can’t even be considered a joke. I’ll stop now.

Anyway, I’m posting now, and maybe at least one more time this week. Apparently, Mat just sat in front of the computer all weekend, constantly typing. He is a posting Demigod. I am his peasant serf.

ADD!! Where was I? Right. This weekend:

Friday. I get off work. In my planner, Friday is circled with red sharpie and has a little picture of a Old English forty drawn on it, and says “Matt gets full priority” in big black letters. Matt is my date tonight. My hot short, white boy date.

K comes down from Baltimore and after some slight hesitation we roll out like pimps to Georgetown. Okay, maybe not really like pimps, since Matt, K, and I were in a Saturn. It was a really nice night out, not too buggy or humid, so we wanted to go take advantage of all the slutties at the waterfront bars. A diabolical scheme was hatched: since we were BROKE (elle and K especially, elle’s wallet of shame=10 dollars) we would have a competition to get free drinks off of suckers who deserved to be had. We thought we had a few potential victims, but alas: K and I had too many clothes on for the game to be successful. More and more frustration. I see Sig Other’s sister, who had just walked in and been bought a beer by a feller who resembled Gonzo. It took her less than 30 seconds to score (like crack!) and it had been a full unsuccessful hour + for K and elle. I was pissed. We left

Saturday. K and I play volleyball at Matt’s company picnic. We are sweaty, unshowered and our feet have been scalded by the firey sand courts. We also have Starbucks, because that is important. PS, why do I not play volleyball anymore? I do love it.

Saturday afternoon. Still no shower, and I have fallen asleep on the couch watching VH1 Behind the Something. I don’t feel like driving. So, I don’t. And thus elle misses YET ANOTHER Dplan show. And while I know they will be back, I was kind of in the mood to see Juno, I wanted to see DP before the album comes out, and now they’re in CANADA for the next 25 years or something. But they didn’t play til midnight. And nowadays by midnight, I am bleary-eyed and scratching my bug bites, looking for a place to nap. Arrggh. I’m sorry Travis. I love you. Like, “Love, Elle.” Not like “I Love You, Elle.” Or “I Love You, Travis.”

Exactly.

Other Stuff

– Cash Brothers are at Iota in Arlington on Tuesday. I will be there. Thus starts my Concert Month!

– Softlips chapstick stuff is addictive

– Key Lime Pie from Sam’s Club is delicious.

– There has been a lot of work for me to do.

– For the LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND HOLY, someone buy me a Mac already. If anyone ever decides it might be nice to maybe marry me, or something, they can give me a Mac instead of a ring. That is a sure sign of coolness right there. You want me. I can feel your vibes.

– Unitarians rule the worlds cause they can. I’m down with that. I think.

– PS I found my Kool & The Gang tape. Feel it!

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