Danger Mouf

The Day Karma Kicked my Ass all Over the State!

Yesterday, I took my car into the shop. Again. Now, I know you are sick of my whining about my poor baby. Suffer, I like to complain about cars. If you think you have it bad, just imagine my parents and friends. I have never owned a decent car in my life. They are so much more sick of me than you are.

Also yesterday, my lunch was liquid and tasted like chalk. ASS. I was given two more work assignments, I didn’t want given to me. My broken scanner went all Poltergeist on me, omitting loud screeching noises even when turned off. (I didn’t want to unplug it, what if the noises had continued even then? I don’t wan tto know, I would have had to switch offices because of a simple scanner ghost.) A coworker accidentally poked me in the ribs, and I’m PMSing. Jebus is mad at me for my last entry.

Some of Elle’s Best Last Tracks:

–“Babies Makin’ Babies,” Sly and the Family Stone, Fresh
–“Sinking,” Cure, Head on the Door
–“Donimo,” Cocteau Twins, Treasure
–“Wanted Man,” George Thorogood, Bad to the Bone
–“Dream Attack,” New Order, Technique
–“Sproston Green,” Charlatans UK, Some Friendly
–“Keeping the Faith,” Billy Joel, An Innocent Man
–“A Murder of One”, Counting Crows, August and Everything After
–“Adore,” Prince, Sign O’ the Times

”Cash flows everything around me, CREAM git da money, dolla dolla bill y’all”

Mid Twenties and full of Old Money… Ripped jeans, even if they are brand name. No real hairstyle to speak of, consistently year-round tan from the summer house on Martha’s and the winter sailing vacations to exotic places. Did Peace Corps already, Yale undergrad. Travels, uses pocket change for dope or other not-too-hard drugs. “Really into” donating to those less fortunate. Volunteers for local Democrats on election day. Back in the day, held part-time job because mom and dad want to make them a humble person, thankful for their trust fund. Dad probably foxhunts occasionally, although you yourself are a vegetarian.

Mid Twenties and bursting with New Money… No one is as good as you, sweetheart. Flashy cars, mommy and daddy fully support you. Never really work for much. Republican, church dictates a lot. Nose is high. Abortion wrong, Democrats wrong, breathing wrong. Rightly paranoid, everyone wants a piece of you. Money goes to Lexus instead of European travel and education, who wants to live with dirty heathen foreigners? Guns are fun! Your mom wears gold lame running suits with her big zirconia.

Stereotyping is fun.

From Mike

Arachibutyrophobia – fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth
Anatidaephobia – fear that somehow or somewhere a duck is watching you
Kainolophobia – fear of novelty

Use this knowledge wisely.

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