Rush Hour Nose-Picker

ewwwww, monkey toes is picking her cute little nose!So, it’s rush hour and I’m driving down the busiest street in Philadelphia. Broad Street. Let me remind you that it’s rush hour and the busiest street in Philly.

The traffic light turns red, and I steer into the left lane. There’s a sleek, cherry red muscle/sports car in the turning lane next to me. You know I have to look inside…..

I peer in, and see this incredible looking man. He’s young, well dressed, built, groomed, & pedicured. You name it. The Stockbroker type, ok? One problem – he has his finger JAMMED up his nose. He was not picking, he was hunting. Hunting for something obviously stuck way way up there.

He was going for the gold, and is incredibly fixated on himself in the mirror at the same time. His head is turned halfway, looking to his right. I could see his full face, including the hand with a missing finger (up his nose.) He sees me, and probably thinks I’m just starting my lean to peer inside.

He then realized I had caught him picking his nose. In that garish, caught up in the moment slight of manner. And immediately tried to play it off by resting his chin on his hand, and looking out the right side window.

I turn my head quickly to pretend I didn’t see anything. HA!

The traffic light turns green, and he peeled out into his left turn. Into oncoming traffic. Screech. Horn. Yells. The traffic stopped. He stopped. A few cars try to go by on the furthest side away. He started to drive again. They stopped. He stopped. Everyone got confused. His brake light suddenly was gone, and he peeled out again, having successfully made his left turn with no harm to cars, people, or pets.

Nose Pickers. We’re all one. Somewhere, deep down inside, we’ve done it. We do it. Don’t get all embarrassed and say, “Ewwe, No I don’t!” Admit it, honey. You know when you’ve got something stuck up there – it itches, your eyes water, your nose feels all plugged up; and it didn’t come out with that good noisy nose blow you just did.

“Arughh, it’s still up there!!!” you think.

So, cautiously, you stick your finger inside, and pull it out. You now breathe with a sigh of relief.

Quick, get rid of it before anyone sees it!

I just wanted to let the guy know how STUPID he was for having done this in RUSH HOUR traffic on the BUSIEST street in Philadelphia. Come on Buddy! What were you thinking??!!?? Did you honestly think no one would pull up next to you? Did you honestly think no one would see you with your finger so graciously lodged up your nose? Geez….. Makes me wonder what kind of a person you really are.

But me, nah…. I’m not a nose picker. Ewwe – that’s just gross! 😉

1 Response to “Rush Hour Nose-Picker”


  • heh. i thought that story ruled. too funny! rock on, jessica. 🙂 more people shoulda commented! this was comment-worthy stuff!! 😉

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