Just call me Bathsheba.

Caffeine makes me happy. It makes me chipper and zippy and gay. It makes me like people and want to talk to them. Sometimes it makes me a comedienne in my own mind. Sometimes it causes people (aka “outsiders”) to cast blank stares. But that’s ok. Because I’m Cedric the Emily-Entertainer.

MSNBC just ran a headline about a study that suggests caffeine could improve your memory. Maybe I’ll start remembering my past lives.

A Tarot card reader once told me I was a prostitute in Alexandria, Egypt during the Crusades. Except I was more like a temple priestess/prostitute. But then I was stoned to death by the Crusaders. Maybe that’s why I flinch easily.

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