This Undeniable Force They Call The Pussy

There is nothing more than I hate when people whine. Ok, maybe people sighing. It’s ok if I whine, but when other people, or rather, when cats do it, it slowly eats away at my soul.

The irony is that I married the love of my life who happens to have 2 cats. Lucky me. And because Em is pregnant, I have taken over a lot of the pussy duties. I clean the litter and feed the cats now. I kinda had been doing this for a while, but it’s official now. This has equated to them sadly thinking I am their new care giver. Again, lucky me.

Now the problem comes in when they *think* they are hungry. Which seems to be every 32 seconds. If you are even in a 10 foot radius of the container that holds their food you get a “MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEROAR!!!” If you start walking down the stairs to get water or to turn on the heat. Either staircase, too. You’ll get a “MEEEEEEEEEEEOWWWWWW(ROAR!)” from Lulu- With an emphasis on the “ow.” And as of late when you get up from the couch in the living room, Mulligan assumes it’s time for her feeding and I am headed to the “feeding place” simply to feed her alleged empty stomach.

I’ve tried training them, but they can’t learn. Since the whining gets on my nerves so severely, I started squirting them with water when they start whining when I am in the “dead zone.” I gave that 7 days and it didn’t curb their appetite for whining. I added a table spoon or 6 of apple cider vinegar. It’s been about 14 days of that with no sign of let up. I think I’ve come to the conclusion that I expect too much from pussies. I’ve sort of given up on the vinegar solution because in the end I have to touch Mulligan after I feed her because of her insulin shots and nothing is worse than vinegar hand.

Now I am writing this, declaring my frustrations with these animals. But at the same time I am trying to understand these foreign creatures. I’ve seriously tired to learn the way of the pussy. But I’ve come to the conclusion I will never understand these beings. And quite honestly, I don’t care.

But to prove to you their horrific yet soaring whining abilities, I recorded their whining today, just about 4 hours after they were fed this morning. Clearly they needed a feeding. (Lulu is mainly in the left channel and Mulligan in the right)

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And what’s cool is in reverse it sounds like a helpless crying baby. Coincidence?

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6 Responses to “This Undeniable Force They Call The Pussy”

  • “Vinegar Hand” – my phrase of the week.

  • You think THAT’S whining, you need to come over and spend more time with MY cat. INSANE how that sounds like a baby though! NUTS!

  • I think that’s just a universal cat thing, ours do it all the time, especially since we put them on a diet after our last vet appointment (Harrison was 14 pounds at a year and a half old!). I don’t mind our cats doing it so much because Lucy just makes chirpy little “brrrip!” sounds and Harrison has a really hoarse, small voice. I’m sure with Mulligan and Lulu’s louder, more whiney/yowly voices, it gets a little more annoying. But dude! Cats are so low maintenance compared to dogs and almost any other pet that I hope you’re prepared for the whole baby thing 😉

  • Our kids were pretty easy. Standard baby whining, but probably on the low end of the scale. It was the cats that drove me insane. Within the last year, we had to put both of of cats down (separate medical issues) but I still get that weird tensing up and flinching when I walk near the kitchen and expect to be aurally assaulted, if not physically. Damn cats. Worse was “I’m hungry at 4 am, and I’ll try and claw your eyes out until you feed me.” Kids don’t do that.

  • Yeah, kids surely don’t and there is so much more reward in a child. And a dog, for that matter.

    If only cats could learn something, I might feel differently. Actually I take it back.

    But maybe it’s just our cats.

    Awful about being clawed in bed. That’s unacceptable behavior. Luckily our cats have been banned from the bedroom since ’03.

  • Scary that they sound like crying babies! I think the fact is, they have no intention of learning your way. I suppose you haven’t fully consulted your “Learn the Way of the Pussies Guidebook” huh?

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