bite your teeth into the ass of life.

hhh....hhot....hhot dogs....hhot dogs. (10k image)i woke up yesterday to the phone ringing….i didn’t answer it. my father told me it was vanessa…and that he volunteered to wake me up to speak with her….but she thankfully told him not to. i fumbled my way downstairs at 9:15am….remembering the days when i could sleep in until noon on the weekends. anymore, i sleep until 10am….and i still feel like a loser. i put on annie hall as my saturday morning movie tradition continued. i’m into leather.

vanessa eventually called back, and we discussed that evenings events. a few friends were throwing a going away party for me that night. vanessa had volunteered….or did i volunteer you??….to make timpano. see, one of my favorite movies of all time is big night. and she had said, jokingly, earlier in the week that she would make timpano. i called her on it, so she…being the sweet and wonderful grrl she is….agreed to make it. so she needed a 6 quart pot to cook this monstrosity of a dish. i went through some pots we had in the house….all of them were either too small or way too big….like a 16 quart stock pot. does my mother cook soup for the township? possibly. anyway…she found one and got on the mission. i hung up.

then it was just a matter of killing time until the event. knowing that i was going to be eating heartily and drinking numerous beers…..i ventured off to the gym to prepare. an hour later i returned feeling ready to undo all of the work i just got done doing. isn’t that why we workout anyway? yes. so i sat around reading until about 3:30pm or so and left to go pick up vanessa. going to her house is always an event for me. her crazy weiner dog is a trip…the thing tried to bite me once. god damn weiners. so we left and she told me how much she slaved to make this dinner…..4 hours preperation….and it still has to cook for an hour and a half. we both agreed that i would hand over my first born child as repayment. i don’t like kids anyway.

so we get to our friends house and kick it while the meal is cooking. there was a huge party at the house the past weekend…and therefore, a quarter keg of stoudt’s fat dog stout is sitting in the fridge. holy christ. that stuff is like syrup. nice. so we drank that and scarlet lady esb….yes, all of my friends are beer snobs, too. there is no time for bad beer. it’s like wanting to hear a sax solo…and putting on kenny g. it sucks….and it’s unecessary. put on coltrane. then it was time to eat. and we ate. and ate. and drank merlot. and ate. and we listened to the big night soundtrack vanessa had bought me. perfection. we sat around moaning and grunting for a while and then reconvened out on the porch to recover.

as we sat there, the sun started to set, and it got cooler. i started to become sad because i knew this would probably be the last time i hung out with all of them before i left. i don’t see them often enough anymore. these are my closest friends, and i’ll be very sad to leave them behind. but in a way, it’s a very good thing. i got pretty silent….which i have a tendency to do. and i know it annoys people…and it annoys me that they’re annoyed. i like it more when people say nothing sometimes. silence is so accurate. right, mat? i guess i just figured it was a good time for things to end. i suppose certain friendships can only go on for so long before they become restraining. like you’re unable to grow within them. and it’s not that you don’t love these people, because i do….but i just know that it’s time to leave.

so we left somewhat early….11:30pm?….and drove home. for the first part of the drive we said very little. we were still recovering from the food. but i think it hit me that i was going to be most sad about being away from vanessa. she and i have become so close….and we’ve finally said some of the things we should have said a long time ago. so all of the crap is out of the way….and now i’m leaving. i guess it’s better late then never….but i was still sad. she keeps me sane….and sometimes insane. but i love every part of it. and her. and i’ll miss her so much.

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