cold beverages

Happy Love Day, TigerThat’s my parka

Hi. Hi hi hi.

I wish I had something to tell you guys, really I do. I can tell you about how I went to see the Mothman Prophecies and my Mom’s company was mentioned. I can tell you how I’m taking CIPRO (rock) because I am constantly infected with some sort of bacteria. DIRTY GIRL! I can tell you about hippies in AmeriCorps, or how desperately I need to do some laundry.

That’s really all I can tell you.

Yesterday I spent half my day on the Metro, going back and forth to meetings for work that were cancelled (awesome.) God forbid someone let me in on these little secrets. I get to work late today, thereby destroying any chances for any kind of romance. But that’s okay. I’ll probably still get some.

My mom got me an Amazon gift certificate because I am her Valentine. MUTHFUCKAS RECOGNIZE- Momma loves me.

Why is this post all about my MOM?

Also, I REALLY WANT A DOG. I would name my dog JOANIE LAURER!


I grew up with a set of twins, who are one year younger than I and one year older than my brother, making them Insta-Playmates when we were young. They were extremely shy little girls, but extremely creative and pretty much brilliant. I am always jealous of them. Now one is some kind of famous rock-climber and the other is a grad student dating some rich guy who imports fine tulips FROM HOLLAND for her because he knows how much she likes tulips. Also, she makes him vegetarian meals based on medieval recipes and he bought her a box of jeweled crosses.

I sure hope I get that Simpsons board game I wanted. Also, tonight, I am making spaghetti.

Sig, I love you.

I have many wishes for you this Valentines Day. I wish you Whitman Samplers to practice field goals with. I wish you phone calls from bar hookups. I wish you red teeshirts. I wish you heat, simply because I am cold right now and heat sounds good to me. I hope a tiger doesn’t eat you.

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