application to be mat’s bitch

in Christy's car - nikon f100 38mm f4.5 1/15 sec car1 (18k image)Mat is an “equal opportunity employer” without discrimination against gender, race, religion, ethnicity, or creed. But he does discriminate openly against dumb-asses and people with poor taste in fashion and/or music selection. The committee reviewing this application will give partial credit when due. If you are a finalist, we will contact you.


  1. How old are you?
  2. How do you feel about that?
  3. Are you in school?
  4. Do you like skinnee Jewish men?
  5. How do you feel about that?
  6. Do you have self esteem?
  7. Are you mean?
  8. Are you a musician or any other type of artist? (If so, please specify genre.)
  9. Do you do drugs?
  10. Do you smoke?
  11. Do you drink?
  12. How do you feel about reproductive rights in 100 words or less.
  13. How do you feel about feminists?
  14. How do you feel about southern accents?
  15. Top 10 Albums of ALL Time:
  16. If I start to like you, will you run away?
  17. How is your relationship with your mother?
  18. How did your last relationship end?
  19. Do you believe in God?
  20. Do you believe in Funk uncut?
  21. Do you put out, bitch?
  22. Do you curse?
  23. (Political) Party Affiliation:
  24. Favourite Food:
  25. Do you know why I only have one “t” in my first name?
  26. If so, are you stalking me?
  27. Do you enjoy talking on the telephone?
  28. Did you know Mat always leaves his fucking phone off the hook? Cause I did. Beeyotch.
  29. How do you feel about long distance relationships?
  30. Have you ever been married or had any kids?
  31. Do you have a duty to please that booty?
  32. Why?
  33. Describes the 80s in 10 adjectives or less.
  34. Do you trim/shave your goonya?
  35. Describe your relationship with the artist formerly known as Prince.
  36. Did you know he goes by Prince now?
  37. How do you feel about bangs?
  38. How do you feel about Lester Bangs?
  39. Are you high maintenance?
  40. Are you moody?
  41. Who said: “Silence is so accurate.”
  42. Favourite Film:
  43. Describe your sexual past including history of STDs.
  44. Do you align your CDs when you put them back in their respective jewel cases?
  45. Do you think it is possible for boys and girls to be friends?
  46. What’s your take on good cops?
  47. and artificial sweeteners
  48. What is your favourite sitcom?
  49. Why?
  50. How do you feel about apples and honey?
  51. Do the words “L’shanah tovah” mean anything to you?
  52. If I crocheted you a sweater would you wear it?
  53. How much do you like to give head? Why?
  54. Are you relatively comfortable with computing and comprehension of Windows or MAC OS?
  55. What is your typing speed?
  56. What’s your favourite time of the day?
  57. Would you consider yourself to be pathetic?
  58. Do you want fries with that shake shake booty, like scoobie doobie?
  59. why or why not?
  60. are you sexually repressed?
  61. Are you familiar with Fortran?
  62. Item of clothing you are ashamed of having?
  63. How low can you go?
  64. If I made you a party hat would you wear it?
  65. Would you steal Indian corn for me?
  66. Would you sell your body on the street corner to support my baby?
  67. Describe the benefits of sweet tea:
  68. Is your toilet seat up or down right now?
  69. Would you remember my birthday, even if it’s in the beginning of the fiscal year?
  70. Do you wear shower shoes?
  71. How do you feel about small children?
  72. Would you have my babies if i asked you to?
  73. Do you prefer mittens or gloves? 100 words or less please. in Christy's car - Nikon f100 38mm f8 1/8 sec car2 (4k image)
  74. What’s your favorite Frank Zappa quote?
  75. Would you come to Elle’s and my country western party?
  76. If you answered yes, describe your costume:
  77. Do you recycle?
  78. How do you feel about that?

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