thinking of jumping

you�re the one that got away �Uncla Sam Wants You Dead�

This is all I am asking. Someone, ANYONE, buy me this film for Christmas. I mean, the backcover notes alone are making me salivate.

It�s not listed on IMDB, but it was a 1996 release. And Uncle Sam is a CORPSE! Outstanding and brilliant.


Go buy �Gravelled and Green� by the Actual Tigers! It is supreme! I like it, it is quite cheery!

Something just snapped

So today I go to Kinko�s on my lunch break because I love Kinkos, and there is one semi-close to my office that is always chock full of frantic college students, and they make me smile. So I browse, I go back to the car, and I unlock the door, I sit down and�.

My MFing car key breaks in half.

It�s so weird, just, like, drooping by a little metal thread and I lose the end half of it. At least it�s not in the ignition. But now it won�t GO in the ignition. Which means I can�t drive back to work. Which means someone has to come get me, or bring me a new key.

DADDY! I love my Daddy, he rescues me all the time. It�s actually quite ridiculous, I had thought I was at least close to adulthood, but apparently not. I think he�s just gotten used to a daughter who is CONSTANTLY HAVING BIZARRE SHIT HAPPEN TO HER.

So, the old man happens to have an extra key, leaves his school, and brings it to me. I am cold and bored in the Kinko�s parking lot. And, um, this is when he realizes I have broken the back taillight, again, possibly for the 450,000th time since owning this particular shrug. I mean car. Why the hell did I just type �shrug�? I am losing my shit. ANYWAYS. Instead of getting all unruly, he pats me on the back and says �you know, if I made more money I�d buy you a Humvee.� Then he gets in his lil� Beamer and zooms off. Dad, you primo bastard.

There�s snowcaps and lonely Utah hotel rooms

There’s things I remember and things I forget
I miss you
I guess that I should
Three thousand five hundred miles away
But what would you change if you could?

Merry Christmas Bri.

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