for awhile. for awhile.

I used to live here.  This is what you see. welcome to the rest of your lifeTop Ten Least Favorite Foods:

1. Yellow Neccos
2. Banana Anything
3. Texas Size Giant Orange Jellybeans
4. Brussel Sprouts
5. Soft, grainy fruit
6. Secret hidden pockets of Mayonnaise on sandwiches
7. Vegemite
8. Cranberry Juice (I’ve officially OD’d)
9. Undercooked rice noodles, they look like tapeworms
10. Dates and/or Circus Peanuts

Top Ten Favorite Betty White Vehicles:
1. Gossip Columnist, The
2. Before and After
3. Circus of the Stars #3
4. With This Ring
5. Circus of the Stars #2
6. The Betty White Show
7. Liar’s Club
8. Match Game PM
9. Password
10. Golden Girls

Top Ten Places to Stay When You Are Penniless:

1. Friends Room
2. Friends Parents Basement
3. Car
4. Outside under a blanket under redwood trees
5. 50s motel where a homicide may or may not have occurred
6. Idaho
7. any available Yurt
8. grandma’s
9. mental evaluation center
10. hospital cafeteria and/or emergency room waiting area

Joe McCarthy’s Top Ten Commandments for Success in Baseball:

1. Nobody ever became a ballplayer by walking after a ball.
2. You will never become a .300 hitter unless you take the bat off your shoulder.
3. An outfielder who throws in back of a runner is locking the barn after the horse is stolen.
4. Keep your head up and you may not have to keep it down.
5. When you start to slide, slide. He who changes his mind may have to change a good leg for a bad one.
6. Do not alibi on bad hops. Anybody can field the good ones.
7. Always run them out. You never can tell.
8. Do not quit.
9. Do not fight too much with the umpires. You cannot expect them to be as perfect as you are.
10. A pitcher who hasn’t control hasn’t anything.

Top Ten Things That Are Annoying Me, Right Now:

1. Wearing sweatshirts advertising colleges unknown in location just because they sound wicked naughty (Go South Carolina GameCOCKS!)
2. Community center pottery classes (learn the PINCHPOT METHOD!)
3. The fact that I can’t find ‘Hammer of the Gods: The Led Zeppelin Story’ for cheap
4. Monopoly pieces should be bigger, like giant top hats you an wear on your index finger and use as puppets.
5. Neither a Daddy, nor someone I would go to. Discuss.
6. ‘Mason & Dixon’ by Thomas Pynchon
7. Cookies
8. She’s got the Urge to Herbal and I’ve got the Urge to shove a rag covered in ethyl alcohol down her throat
9. Vegas/Not Vegas
10. My tongue has a hole burned straight through the middle of it from too many Sour Grabage Pail Kid snackys. OUCH. IT IS BLOOD RED.

Top Ten CDs in High Rotation, Right Now:

1. Bob Schneider ‘Lonelyland’
2. Dismemberment Plan ‘Change’
3. New Order ‘Get Ready’
4. Lloyd Cole ‘Don’t Get Weird on Me Babe’
5. Built to Spill ‘Live’
6. Tim Buckley ‘Happy Sad’
7. Jazz June ‘They Love Those Who Make the Music’
8. Superchunk ‘Here’s to Shutting Up’
9. the Psychadelic Furs ‘All of this and Nothing’
10. Wilco ‘Summerteeth’

What’s wrong with being sexy?
Wang 44.4%
Tits 33.3%
Ass 11.1%
Pootie 11.1%

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