work, man, it sucks my will to live

she's a darling, an absolute darling Listening to: Ike Reilly, The Samples, Beastie Boys, Promise Ring, Tim Buckley, and bad Ronald. Kidding about that last one.

Hei-diddly-ho there, Steverinos. I’m sorry I have been so absent lately from O-M. I jest can’t hep’ it. In between reading Dolly: My Life and Other Unfinished Business, eating too much junk food, avoiding J. Lo’s bubblehead, and dreaming up ways to make Joan Rivers eat a big steaming pile of dookie, my head has been much to cluttered to post anything of merit.

See? Still is.

Social Life: all I did this past weekend was eat out. Some Vietnamese food was involved, some Italian food was involved, some Brie cheese and beer was involved. All in all, a tremendous showing by Elle’s stomach. A round of applause for the old bloated girl. Two thumbs WAY UP! I also watched the Grammys (yawn factory) and went out with K’s Connecticut Yalie Friends. They are going to save the earth, and I was wearing leather and Nikes and downing Harps AQAP (As Quickly As Possible!) YAY, I’m an asshole!

Work: Kicking my ass, also, the heater is turned up so high I feel like I’m going through “the change.” I look like I am in a constant state of either embarrassment or arousal with this blushing visage. Also, I�fm ready to draw blood for a Snickers right about now. I’m like Elaine from Seinfeld, that mid-afternoon sugar high is vital to my state of well-being.

Love: Single, check. Content, check. Ahhhh, romance. Amore, amante, amour, liebe. Confusing. But all is well. For now. Except I keep getting ditched on weekends so Someone can go play basketball. But I’m not bitter.

Conscience: Decidedly ruined years ago, I have a certain “moral flexibility” Anyways, I’m babysitting all the goddamn time, so I figure that will keep me out of hell. Buy me a little time in purgatory at least, if not the Big Strip Club In The Sky (I have a friend who once read a book on what children’s idea’s of heaven were, he promptly decided that strip clubs were his idea of heaven, with comp’d drinks, but of course.)

World View: Another JMU person got killed. I am fearing for my life, everyone who attends/attended my alma mater ends up one of two things: dead or in jail for the killing. You think I’m kidding? The stats are staggering. You never hear about shit like this going down in inner-city schools.

Travel: Texas, then NY, then Kalifornia. K. and I are also wavering on the whole Las Vegas thing. If we’re in the mood for total debauchery, it might happen. We shall see. We shall overcome.

Celebrities: Uma’s boobs, and Nicole Kidman looked nekkid.

Local News: ran into old high school friend at Macaroni Grill. She’s writing children’s books (?), unemployed, another friend of our is pregnant with child NUMBER FOUR. Good times!

Also, Joan Rivers. Dookie. Such a distinct possibility. No wonder one of her husbands offed himself. My god, the pain.

If anyone knows where I can get the lyrics to “Hip Hop Thighs #17,” please clue me in. They are nowhere to be found on this thing the kids are calling “Internet.”

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