likes the cock dot aich tee em elle

emily and mat in tent in respective apartment in baltimoreidlesparks: dude!!!! you know demeter?
mat: huh?
idlesparks: its a fragrance company, makes scents
like “leather,” “dirt,” “tomato” “gin and tonic”
idlesparks: they now make sushi!!!!!!!!
mat: ugh, that’s distgusting
mat: i just like the smell of girl…i dont
like perfume
idlesparks: its not perfume…it smells like the
object
mat: same thing
mat: why not have one called “rotten vagina”
idlesparks: HAHAHAHA
mat: which is prolly similar to sushi for that
matter
mat: hence why vegetarian women DO taste better
idlesparks: awww gross
mat: dude, you brought it up!
idlesparks: not the vagina part!!!!
mat: well you said sushi…which reminded me of
fish, which then reminded me of all (well most) of the girls i dated who ate
meat
idlesparks: haha
mat: dude, i urge you to not eat meat, for the
love of any man you ever date!
idlesparks: ewwwwwww
idlesparks: what about dudes?
mat: same thing
mat: (not that i would know)
idlesparks: HAHAHA
mat: you ARE what you eat
mat: and meat is nasty man!
mat: MEAT!!!!!
mat: you meathead!
idlesparks: YOU EAT MEAT TOO!!!!
mat: i know!
idlesparks: HA!!!
mat: rather seldom though
mat: but hot damn, vege food is way superior,
and better for mr tummy
mat: hey man, i am just trying to help you with
your future boyfriends to keep them happy
idlesparks: thanks dad
mat: you got it sport

minutes later…
mat: dude, did u close the window?
idlesparks: what window?
mat: this one?
idlesparks: no
mat: can you copy it to me in an email
idlesparks: okay
mat: this will make for a perfect journal entry
mat: effortlessly

My new best friend:
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