plastic hands

I like this pictureNo more weekend recap to add to Mat’s, but it was nice to put sum names with face. And, I DID want to take home the aforementioned accented bar owner. Wrap him up with a big bow. He was super-uber-cute in a British, bald, skinny, football-loving, homosexual-Dupont Circle-kind of way. I bet he would be a good chap to chug a beverage with.

Also, buying lollipops was a damn smart move.

More Important Stuff:

I was born 10 years too late. Maybe 8 years too late.

Either way, I was too late. I was around 13 when Kembrew McLeod hit full force at my alma mater, James Madison University (located in the lovely and smelly Shenandoah Valley.) This man is a bonafide genius.

Some Kembrew things for you to ponder:

1. “I trademarked the phrase freedom of expression├é┬«. I have proof: trademark number 2,127,381 and a certificate that reads, “the application was examined and determined to be in compliance with the requirements of the law and with the regulations prescribed by the Commissioner of Patents and Trademarks, and that the Applicant is entitled to registration of the Mark … Freedom of Expression.” Does this mean I can sue anyone in the United States for using the term without my permission? Not really.”

No, really, he trademarked the saying “Freedom of Expression.” How ironicly ironic.

2. Kembrew ran for Student Government President.

“–If elected, he will receive a sex change operation live on the school Commons.
–Voting for Kembrew will insure free passage into the afterlife of your choice.
–To alleviate pedestrian traffic problems, he will set up a complex system of ropes and pulleys linking academic buildings and dorms.
–Lastly, he will require University President Ron Carrier to wear a foam rubber lobster costume to all public events.”

3. Kembrew and his buddies jokingly joined a “Battle of the Bands” competition at my ultra-Christian school.

“At this point we had totally offended everyone who wasn’t in on the joke. During the performance of “99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall” (which obviously exceeded our time limit), our friends threw confetti in the air with the word “Satan” written on it while Sander mock-crucified me on stage.”

Along with these things, he also tried to get my alma mater’s mascot changed from a Duke Dog (that’s a bulldog wearing a crown, from those of you not in the know) to a three-eyed pig with antlers. He was almost successful.

He also married 100 students to bananas in a mass wedding ceremony on the campus Commons, and he was the first person to sell his soul on Ebay.

All quotes taken from http://www.kembrew.com. Go visit.

PS Mat’s not the first Matt to bark at me. Woof! Bow wow.

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