what the land of the logo needed to hear

Joke from my dad, in my in-box this morning:

“What did Jesus say when he was surprised?

Oh, My Dad!!”

What a card.

I am an idiot, most of you should know this by now. It’s hard going through life being this stupid sometimes. Don’t get me wrong, I am not upset about being un-intelligent about certain things. If anything, it probably makes my life easier sometimes. People don’t expect as much. Fine by me.

During my lunch break today, I went to get gas. I stuck the credit card in the slot, I started to pump gas, I promptly got back into the drivers seat to avoid the wind.

And put the key in the ignition.

No, I didn’t turn it, but I was very, very close. Who the hell AM I? I pay no attention. Do you really think the car would have blown up? I wonder. It’s a good possibility. Maybe not. If it did blow up, how seriously would I have been hurt? Would it have happened immediately, or would it have taken a few sconds? Wouldn’t it have just been a little, tiny, meaningless explosion? How many people would be at my funeral? Would I like the flowers? If I’m gonna go, I hope it’s in something as cool as a firey crash. I think I would rather that then dying in my sleep or something. I kind of dig the drama.

Not that, given the choice, I’d want to go at all. I rather like my life, thank you.

Significant Other has made an elaborate mixtape for a friend, all revolving around a confusing web of who’s-worked-with-who in the “y’allternative” music industry. Some are really easy, and I’ve left out about 15 bands, cause I can’t remember. Oh well. Also, I added in Prince and Morrissey because they are somehow connected too. And, it’s funny. Props to whoever can figure out how.

Uncle Tupelo
Son Volt
Old 97s
Ryan Adams
T Bone Burnett
Soul Asylum (?)
Golden Smog

PS Does anyone still read Garrison Keillor? Did anyone really ever? Native Midwesterners don’t count.

PPS Easter was good. Mom’s made crabcakes. Yum.

PPPS I need a vacation in the worst gaddamn way.

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