Monthly Archive for January, 2001

light it up

Today was my first day at DC101-FM. It rocked…when i finally got to the station at 11am (prior to that i was in rockville doing hiring stuff, benefits, etc) there was this meeting for all the DJs…of course food was provided. I like that…food es muy rockin’. Then we spent until 3pm getting my computer up and running and and on the network and learning the trials and tribulations of DC101. I met the intern too. She’s 16 and her name is Skelator. Rock! That is neat. I am waiting for my nickname. My monitor was too small. I asked for a 17 inch monitor. They go in to the old GM’s (General Manager) room and switch it with the 15″ they gave me originally. “But he’s the new internet guy!!!” were the famous words of the day. Apparently I have had a few people waiting for me. Alas. Then I asked to go to the Caps game on Thursday cos there was this promotion for it. “Of course, here are two tickets!” Doh! Love it…Then they gave me the DC101-Threads (or clothes)…like a fleece jacket, a gas station shirt, a tshirt and a sweater. But they were all LARGE so i asked if they had SMALL. “No Problem, we’ll special order them and they’ll be waiting for you tomorrow morning!” Here is the welcome letter I got from the GM (notice the second line) :

light it up, dc101

I had ribs for dinner. Rough life. I’d ask for a vacation, but i’ve had one at Discovery Channel for 6 months.

You Are What You Drive

you are what you driveYou know the saying, “You are what you eat,” right? Well, the same applies to “you are what you drive.”

Ever see that boat driving slowly down the right lane, occasionally drifting to the left? Naturally, you assume it’s a crotchety older senior citizen, sunken into the seat with their head peering *just* above the steering wheel. You pass, and “Correct-a-mundo!” You were right.

Your car says a lot about who you are. Is it clean? Or messy? Is it all scratched up? Or does it still maintain a perfect paint job? Are there dents? Do you still have a bumper? Scented things that hang from your rear-view? EVERY aspect of your car says something about you as a person.

Some examples…

you are what you driveI drive a maroon Ford Escort. I drive a little faster than I should – I’m a city driver with no patience. I always keep an eye out for those wackos who really shouldn’t be driving, and at times, I can be polite and let you into my lane. My car has one white scratch on the rear bumper from the time I got rear-ended. No other scratches, no dents. Nothing hangs from my rear-view mirror. I used to have a They Might Be Giants sticker on the back driver’s side window, but that has since faded and washed away. Inside, the car is pretty clean – an occasional piece of trash depending on what day of the week you catch me. More often than not, there will be at least one newspaper in the back seat. What does this tell you about me?

you are what you driveMat drives a hunter green Buick Regal. [Editor’s note: It’s a LeSabre dammit and damn proud!] He drives well – goes the speed limit (maybe a little over) and is patient. He’s all defense. No dents, no scratches. Nothing hanging from the mirrors, no stickers on the windows. There’s some stuff inside, but it’s not messy. There’s a velvet jacket in the back seat and if you’re lucky, there’s a Trivial Pursuit hiding under that jacket. There’s a shoe-box full of cd’s kept as an arm-rest for the front seat, and the tape adapter for the cd player. Mat’s eclectic style and short attention span is apparent by the genre and number of cd’s within that shoebox. He takes things slowly, but absorbs it all while doing so.

Andrea drives a white Dodge Neon. She’s a terror on the road with no respect. She’ll cut you off and leave you in her smoke. There might be a dent – I can’t recall. Scented perfumy things hang from her mirror. The car is trashed on the inside. Soda bottles, magazines, fast food wrappers, bags and bags and bags, and the occasional empty cigarette box. It’s a mess. She’s a wild child who speaks her mind when and where she wants to. If she likes you, she respects you. But, you have to earn that respect first.

you are what you driveElle drives a Volvo. I’ve never met Elle, so I’ve never experienced her car or her driving style. But old Volvos’ are just the epitome of cool. And if it’s that off white/yellow color – even better! Having yet to meet Elle, I can’t say much about her personality, but the way she comes off is just the way I’d expect a Volvo driver to. Cool, laid back, and easy-going. A bit creative, a bit free-spirited/open minded.

you are what you driveOpus is thinking of getting a Ford Focus. Another person who I’ve yet to meet, but know through email. Sadly, I have no former opinions of the Focus to compare to Opus. But, I’d imagine all Focus drivers to have a *hint* of Opus-ness in them. That certain quality that everyone loves, that everyone immediately trusts and accepts. Quirkiness. The Focus has a quirky look about it – so it seems like it would fit Opus accordingly.

So remember the next time you’re off to buy a new car. What does that car say to you? How does it make you feel? What impression of the drivers do you get when passing that car on the highway? If you’re a speed demon, should you really be buying that Mustang or Corvette? And if you’re older, in your mid-life, don’t buy that colorful new Volkswagon Beetle. It’s not cute and you’re not 18 anymore. The car won’t make you younger or cool. It makes people like me laugh at people like you when I pass by.

Metro Green Line

dont eat the hair snow!Last nite was “dude’s night.” I went out with Addy, The Hair, and Mr. MP3s rules but i can’t order CDs from half.com because there is a chance that I may get a scratched one boy. It was the Washington Capitols vs. some Florida team. And it only took one period to realize the red team wasn’t the Capitols! I love sports! But in reality hockey is my favorite. Dino Cicerelli man! Hehehe…my good friend actually crashed a Bar Mitzvah party that he was at! Now that is cool!

On the way back home on the Metro Green Line, we sat down close to the door. We both were both talking about programming or some yuppie talk, like cell phones or AIM, when this crew of women and one man come on our train and look a little lost. They were thinking “should we take this train or the next?” One of them was maybe 6foot 3inches and decided to gyrate around one of the poles in front of us. Another had really large boobies but seemed to have a gruffy voice. Weird. (S)he came up to me and grabs my necklace and asks what it is. As she is “looking” at my necklace (s)he begins to press her boobies in my face. And every man knows how amazing this can be! But from a over-sized boobie-clad person with a gruffy voice, it’s a little disconcerting. Addy, on the other hand had turned to a nice shade of blood red by now. He doesn’t take too well to afro-American transvestites who grope his friends. And it didn’t stop! Once “they” knew we were on to them she, the one grabbing my necklace, proceeded to show it to Addy to smush her boobies more in my face. As they were leaving the train the only real male (real male meaning he had a 95% chance of having wang) with them turned back to us, shook his head and mumbled the word “animals”. Ack! What is the deal with transvestites in DC loving my necklace!

But before that little ditty we all had a fab time. Not that getting boobies in my face was not a fab time. I guess it’s just more competition for the lady! Har Har…We all got to be the dudes we are. We got to shout “you fucking pansy!” to the hockey player that messed up. We got to sing along to the classic rock they played over the PA system while Addy looked at us confused as he only listens to girly indie rock and obscure electronic music. We got to talk about stereos systems. I got to complain about the quality of MP3s and the non-half.com boy got to oogle over them. I only gave him that it’s mega convenient if you had a car stereo that played MP3s and you were traveling more than 5 hours. He didn’t understand what signal-to-noise ratios were, so I didn’t press it with him…I guess ignorance is bliss, or so they say.

So I also came to the conclusion that I need to get out more. Going out last night was mega fun. Hanging with the Hair and Addy was eventful. It sure was better than just sitting at home. I found someone who has cooler hair than myself when cut short! The Hair’s hair rocks and I now understand why they call him, “The Hair!” The Hair rules. Too bad his lady smells like feet. I bet with hair like that he could find some other girl with a higher caliber smell. Maybe like an acorn or green beans. This boy needs to move up in the smells of life…

Tomorrow is my last day at Discovery Health Channel. Yeah! I can’t wait to get out of here and start doing more fun work. Yesterday I helped the President of Discovery Health install Netscape 6.0. #1: Can you believe he was installing Netscape & #2: Can you believe he was installing Netscape. Regardless, I fixed it. Well, actually I only showed him where he downloaded it to, then double clicked it. Damn, I am sooooooooo good with computers. This was something that a 3rd grader could have figured out these days. I am amazed at the inept-factor of such high class executives. Thank god I am going to be in the radio industry within days again. Wish me luck!