I never understood dungeon’s and dragons or those mock-renaissance festivals. It just didnt make sense to me. It’s called living in reality. And these morons I guess cant handle reality so they had to create this parallel universe in the 16th century where they are in some other place and fight each other with padded swords and shit. And they feel better about themselves?! What fucking pussies! If they wanna live the life and be fucking Ã¼ber-dorks who have chain male and shit, why the fuck cant they use real swords and daggers and fight like real super supreme dorks from the 13th Century. Then at least in the end they will all kill their pitiful selves and there will only be one left for me to make more fun of. God those people make me look way cool. And that’s bad. I do not understand you people. I do not care to understand you people. You people make me sick. You people need to find a hobby that takes place in this century. You people smell like moldy converse chucks.
Tonight i’m making cookies with Emily and hopefully Daniel. Yummy cookies! Then I think we might hit a movie or something. Thank goodness we get out early from work today, cos i am dying to get out of here… Getting my passport most like isnt going to happen today. Maybe next week. It’s so nice i dont have to be back here until Monday however. I love it. And tomorrow is Thanksgiving with the fam and general extended family. My brother-in-law’s brother-in-law is coming over with their new baby.
this has been such a strange time. i don’t fell like my old self anymore. and i suppose that’s good. i didn’t always like myself. i got down quite a bit….but i’ve taken charge. things are on the up. but every now and then, i get a glimpse of the old me. and i wonder if i’ve really come along….or if i’ve just been able to hide it better. i don’t know.
i‘ve met this girl. and she’s wonderful….but the entire time i’ve been waiting for the bomb to drop. like there’s no way this is completely good. something bad is inevitable. and then it happened. but i won’t go into those details. i just don’t understand. why is it that everything i have is some twisted and warped version of what i really want? i get part of it….i just don’t get the entire thing. i get a job that pays well, but i don’t like it. i feel good about myself, but there’s all this shit i have to work on. i meet this girl who i connect with like no one else in a long time, and she’s confused. it’s god damned frustrating.
when these things happen, i see my old self. i see the boy who wants to cut it all off and sit in his room and listen to music for hours…rather than deal with it. but i don’t like any of these decisions i have to make. i don’t like any of the outcomes. it’s fuct. and that’s how i feel. does this shit happen to you? i feel like the only one. but i’m doing ok. i’ve resisted putting on those albums that let me regress. i’ve replaced certain actions. i’ve doubled my workout. i don’t know if any of that is better than what i did before….but it feels that way.
i‘m not asking for much. i’m a simple person. i don’t want status or money or praise or any of that shit….i just want someone who is going to stand by my side while i try to figure all of this out.
More from the words of Doughty during the making of El Oso:
Warner Bros. asked us to record a Christmas song to send out to radio stations on a CD with a bunch of acoustic performances we did at radio stations over the past year. So our publishing company sent over a big stack of paper, lists of song titles, all of their Christmas song properties. We selected the more interesting-sounding titles with a highligher pen and sent it back to them. The titles included: “Little Donkey,” “I’m Gonna Lasso Santa Claus,” “Santa Claus Go Straight To The Ghetto,” and “What Do You Get A Wookie For Christmas (When He Already Has A Comb)?”
“Wookie” was the clear contender until we discovered that the sheet music was xeroxed poorly and we couldn’t read the melody. So we cut “Suzie Snowflake,” a particularly evil little slice of mass-produced Christmas cheer, written by Roy Brodsky and Sid Tepper in the mid-50’s. We played it with a total pokerface–Tchad on bells, Mark on celeste, Yuval on sleighbells, Sebastian on a Zamfir-style plastic pan pipe. What was meant to be a one-hour toss off turned into a full day’s toil. I mean, we took that song as seriously as any of the songs made for the record, with overdub after overdub. Yuval translated the lines “Here comes Suzie Snowflake/dressed in a snow-white gown/tap-tap-tappin’ at your window pane/to tell you she’s in town” into Hebrew and recited them over the midsection.
favorite soul coughing member?
38.2% :: yuval gabay
29.4% :: mark degliantoni
20.5% :: sebastian steinberg
11.7% :: m. doughty