i always seem to have a crush on some grrl. sometimes i think it doesn’t even matter who it is….it just has to be someone. some grrl that i can talk to on some level….and feel that there is potential for something to happen. now whether or not it’s realistic….or flesh for fantasy….always seems to elude me. maybe i fall in love too much. while i have learned to see more grays in the black and white world i used to live in, i still seem to be a faucet in this area. is it a good thing? i dunno.
sometimes i get burnt. i build these things up in my mind. i have conversations in my head with these grrls. things that i would want to say given the right situation. how i would treat them given the right situation. how i would be different than the other guys they have been with. i guess that’s all of my bullshit, though. i don’t think i’m much different. i have as many bad qualities as good. i have as many bad days as good. i have as many bad experiences as good. and i have definitely not loved more than i have loved. maybe in the end….it really is all about a beatles lyric.
sometimes i think that it’s not going to happen just because i’m looking so hard. and i’m looking because for the past five years….i really didn’t wany anything to do with love. i wasn’t ready to love anyone….and i certainly wasn’t ready for anyone to love me. ok….i’m getting off topic here. so there’s always someone. a grrl that i can turn my attenttion towards. i’m noticing this now more than ever. and it’s funny…..i think i’m a flirt. but in the geekiest way. i’m not smoothe by any means. but i don’t think i’m completely awkward either. all of those years spent in high school being “the friend” to all of those grrls has really paid off.
sometimes i’m more comfortable talking to grrls. my feminine side?? i dunno. maybe it’s my extreme sensitivity?? christ, i dunno. when i’m talking to them….i just get to thinking about how they work. what they see. how they feel. why they feel that way. what turns them on. what makes them see something in a man that makes them swoon. i don’t think i’ll ever understand it…..but it fascinates me to no end. i just like hearing them talk….about things that matter to them. art….music….history….archeology….it doesn’t matter. ok….i’ve completely lost focus on what this post was suppose to be about. blah. see what just thinking of them does to me?? i’m a mess.
If Nigel Tufnel ever went to blinddatetv.com and registered:
Describe Yourself: it’s a mach piece.
Person You would like to meet: janine in dubly.
Type of relationship you would like to create: i am skipping this one because it’s stupid.
What you feel contributes to a successful relationship: artie fufkin.
What do you do best? i envy us.
Things that turn you on: eleven.
Things that turn you off: ten.
Who are your role models?: mozart and bach. and see above for why.
How do you define love? lick my love pump.
What is your description of a fun date? see above, stonehenge – where the demons dwell.
What car best describes your personality and why? this is what i would look like on the insides. but not green.
What personal achievements are your proud of? stonehenge being endangered of being trampled by a midget.
What type of work do you do? we tap on in to america. the hoestess with the mostess.
What is your dating philosophy? you cant play the part cos of your f’ing wife.
What are your strengths and weaknesses? mime is money.
Describe your most embarrassing moment: no were not bloody well doing stonehenge tomorrow.
What is your most annoying habit: putting gum on my finger.
What is your cutest habit: cocaine.
Where do you see yourself in 5 years? the musical version of jack the ripper in saucy jack.
I need to stop watching the VH1 Classic.
My subject for this post and what i wrote in a one liner in a past post (two posts ago, i think) has to do with something pertaining to a co-worker. Of course their names will remain anonymous because we dont need anymore drama. Soooooooooo, this girl at work has this boyfriend that totally overreacted to the fact that she was writing about him in her web journal. She didnt even use his name (first, last or both) and he was saying how she betrayed him, etc. Stuff about trust, blah blah. It’s just so crazy how seriously people take themselves. Shit, i dont know the full story nor do i really care to. But it just amazes me how people think. Or dont. Like people really give a shit about you. And i do like this guy too, so dont get me wrong. He is a nice guy. Sure i dont necessarily like the music he creates, but he sure is good at what he does. Shit, i guess she better call and then blame the people who make the phone book. Cos he’s all up in that shit. And that’s her fault too.
In other news I am now moving on to Comedy Central in my office cos VH1 really just repeats all their content throughout the day. It’s like how much Celine Dion can you take? Jesus christ. And if she covers anymore AC/DC songs I am going to go postal. But in a good way, cos Postal Workers get a bad rep.
And just yesterday we reworked our proposal/contract to do another shoot for Clear Channel. So it’s approved after a few days of rewriting. We’re shooting the Rock and Sports Experience and will be taking home some nice pocket change. Shit, and the film stills for this upcoming movie. The gigs are coming. I like this. Now we just have to get enough gigs where I wont have to have a day job. I am loving it.