Monthly Archive for May, 2003

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i tremble for you. (6k image)i‘ve never been good in social situations…..even if it’s with people i know. here’s the thing though…..i like parties. i love them, in fact. but i’m just not good at them…..i’m not a very good conversationalist most of the time. i can talk to people i know…..but when i meet new people…..i really don’t have anything to say.

so last thursday night…..i went to a graduation party with joanna. the party was being thrown by one of her classmates. it wasn’t a huge party…..but a lot of people from her program would be there. i agreed to go…..normally i would’ve found an excuse not to go. but i don’t do that with her. it’s completely different…..and therefore… am i. we drove over to fells point. parked. and then read the directions on how to get to the place. the directions sucked. we wound up walking around for a while until joanna called him to clarify his mess. we got it straight and found it.

we walked in…..and i immediately knew i was out of place. everyone seemed to be dressed like…..well……adults. like a land’s end catalog or something. it’s not a bad thing….it’s just that i was wearing all black and my bright red track jacket and i felt like i already stood out…..let alone being fashionably visible. anyways… i was introduced to everyone and then i proceeded forget all of their names immediately. they were all really nice…..but i just had nothing to say. i was handed a beer and was thankful for being given something to do. drink! i figured maybe i’d loosen up and possibly even…..*gasp*…..mingle. i didn’t want to be the clingy guy who is attached to his girlfriend’s hip all night…..but i honestly didn’t know what to do.

people would randomly ask me questions, “so what do you do?” ugh. i hate that question. i don’t like my job….it doesn’t define who i am. it’s not an indication of what i’m like or what i love…..which i think is why people ask that. so i explain it….and then explain that it’s just a job and it’s not what i’m really doing. but i didn’t feel like launching into the band/record label thing either…..because that just creates a new set of unanswerable questions. “what kind of music do you play?” and these were people who were NOT going to get it. but again….i can’t stress this enough…..everyone was really nice to me. so i answered all of the questions anyway. but that made me feel more isolated…..only because no one really understood what the fuck i was talking about. i’m such a jackass.

so the night ends…..and i survived. i felt like i was on display for much of the evening. but then again…..i’m paranoid…..and usually right about these things. 🙂 joanna kept telling people that i’m an amazing drummer…..oh and i blush like a madman….and a lot of them said they wanted to come check out the band when we play. they were all very interested…..which was incredibly sweet. they really did make me feel welcome. i felt bad that i didn’t give them a chance. so we left and i felt dizzy from social interaction. i felt a bit alien. we were walking back to the car and we stopped by this short wall that over looked a part of the bay. we leaned over the railing and looked at each other…..i knew what she was thinking…..and her i. and we just smiled. and in that instance…..i knew exactly why i was there.

cos feetnik rocks the house

61. Name one song you hate to admit you like.
Anything by shellac – I cant stand most other albini productions

2. Name two songs that always make you cry.
“motr” – trans am
“double dip” – hum (i was in tears in 1995 walking across campus in connecticut listening to this track for the first time – good call feets)

3. Name three songs that turn you on.
“mysterions” – portishead
“one way to go” – verve
“erotic city” – prince

4. Name four songs that always make you feel good.
“superhumans” – the flaming lips
“carboforce” – trans am
“sugar on my tongue/i want to live” – talking heads
“peaches en ragalia” – frank zappa

5. Name five songs you couldn’t ever do without.
“17 days” – prince
“temptation” – new order
“stone in love” – journey
“mr. bitterness” – soul coughing (mark’s samples are dreamy)
“gamera” – tortoise

microwavable rigid wrap plaster cloth

thatslutfromjoemillionaire (15k image)Today after work Emily and myself went to a neighbor’s house to pick up some catnip they were offering up on the community Listserv. They were really nice and we talked about composting newspaper and German Shepards for a bit. They are from Northern California. We’re not from there.

After that we stopped by Video Americain to pick up some videos. We picked up Catch Me if you Can, Until the End of the World (which I’ve seen a few times, but Emily hasn’t), and Modulations (the counter part to the book). So we get to the register and they bring up our account and say, “Did you bring back Porn Star?” Emily said she did and starts getting revved up. They seem to think that we never brought it back. Now, don’t get my wrong. It was a very humorous movie, but not the kind of movie I’d want to watch more than once. So for a few minutes Emily gives the cashier some shit, as we’re not allowed to rent any movies until this is resolved. Rather ridiculous if you ask my Blockbuster-for-three-years ass. That’s kinda a lame policy. Regardless, we walk out of there pretty irate. Then we come home and I look in the VCR and it’s sitting there. Yeah, Emily returned the box without the tape. And you people call me the pothead?!

Now we’re back home and getting amused by showering the cats with the new fresh catnip. Emily is surely amusing me exclusively now as well with cooking and setting off, not one, but two smoke detectors. Not by any fault of hers. As she’s a great cooker. But our oven needs some obvious cleaning.

And yeah, I am missing Biz Markie this Saturday to photograph Third Eye Blind and Saliva and bands of that sort. I guess in the end it’s still six or one half the dozen. Eh. I really need to start playing more. Time to learn the Akai.