Monthly Archive for August, 2005

I Laid Down And Took It

One afternoon, my friend and I went to the zoo to see my favorite animals, the turtles. As we approached them, I noticed that one of the turtles seemed to be climbing over another turtle.

“That turtle is going to be crushed!” I said to my boyfriend.
“No, that turtle is going to get fucked,” he said.

About that time, a small family noticed the same two turtles, and the father evidently came to the same conclusion as my boyfriend, but he was a little more vocal about it.

He said to the turtle:

“Lay down and take it, girl! Lay down and take it!”

As told by Feetnik.

Hence the Turtle Humping graphic.

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Wafers and Butterfinger Candy Creme

Soundtrack of the day: James’ whiplash, James’ non-lp tracks 1&2, Herbie Hancock’s sextant, Manu Dibango’s Soul Makossa, Scissor Sisters’ s/t, & Tempo Team’s bang bang.

Next to sex with Emily, Nestles’ Butterfinger Crisp is amazing.

Speaking of which but slightly unrelated, I just came back from Dr. Hines who is my new Dentist. My teeth are a-ok – as usual, but I am showing early signs of Periodontal Disease. My Mother would kill me! Anyways, we’re going to nip it in the butt. Man the dentist kicks the eye doctor’s booty any day.

Our Wedding Shower

Soundtrack of the weekend: Frank Zappa’s you cant do that on stage vol2, Frank Zappa’s hot rats, Explosions in the Sky, Aretha Franklin’s lady soul, Beach Boys’ pet sounds, Dieselboy’s 6th Session, The Beatles’ magical mystery tour.

Well, we did it. We kinda sorta surprised Emily with the wedding shower. Not really. She got a lot of the hints. And Ex and David kinda gave it away. But we tried. She was still about 50% surprised. Not that is really matters.

It was really cool seeing Amy and Zack (as well as Annette and Billy) as I didn’t really expect them to fly in for this. It was a nice treat. And it was awesome seeing them for lunch too and walking through the farmer’s market on Sunday morning with Zack. Oh yeah and Amy cleaned out Frankie’s anal sacs… It was fascinating. You only need to have a sandwich bag. Some vegetable oil, if you want to be nice. Oh and being a Vet can help. We’ve almost trained her with the ‘down’ command. Yay! Roof!

So it was awesome seeing all our family and friends and eating all the great food at the Helmand. Even my Father liked the food.

And we ended up with a lot of gifts. Way more than expected. It’s rather overwhelming. I mean we registered for it, so nothing was really a surprise, but still. It’s just so much stuff and we don’t have a large house. I have no clue where it’s all going to go. And these are still just engagement gifts. It’s kind of crazy.

Pictures are here.

PS. What’s up with Green Day winning every goddam VMA? And Suge Knight getting shot. That’s not a person you want to shoot and miss hitting any major organs. Oops.

PPS. Hang in there Louisiana. Let’s just hope there is relief money left over from the war.