Monthly Archive for February, 2006

Goodbye Don Knotts 1924 – 2006

You will be missed!

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Cash A Wave Of The American Inefficiency

From the Washington Post Express this morning:

Page 12 – Cash A Wave: Citizens Bank is offering touch bank cards that customers can simple wave their [card] in front of readers, rather than physically inserting them. The bank said the new touch-and-go cards will save users time and effort.

I don’t want to be a hater, but I have two serious issues with this. Ok, maybe I do want to be a hater.

  • When did people who bank become so fucking lazy that waving their hand in front of a reader takes way too much time out of their day. Not to mention effort. And waving their hand down a reader will save them so much time. The inefficient laziness amazes me. Not to mention that they are going to save 0.043 seconds for each “slide” – Ok. So if the average person then “slides” 7 times a week. They’ll then have saved approximately 15.652 seconds a year. Wow. That’s almost enough time to write a quick email. Or pee. Think of the emails you can write! Think of the time you could instead spend on the shitter. OH THE TIME! I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF!! HELP ME GOD! I AM A GOD WARRIOR!!
  • You’d think the money they spent on this would be better spent on having customer service representatives either trained more to be helpful (no shit!) and/or to hire more staff to actually answer the phone rather than pressing buttons and talking to a machine. Customer service in this country is atrocious. Dogs know it.

So I just don’t get it. I simply don’t get it. Help me lord, almighty.

A Brief Open Letter To The Weather

Dear Weather,

I that you were 17 degrees when I woke up this morning. That is what I am talking about, Weather. There is nothing more powerful than waking up to your temperatures in the teens. It’s nice. It’s only natural in February. Weather, let’s keep it real.

When it’s January or February and it’s in the 60s we start looking all soft like the weather in Georgia or something. We’re DC. We have 4 seasons. We’re strong. Bring on the 20 inches of snow. We’re ready.

Kisses,
Laundro