Normally, I am pretty Christmas tolerant. My tolerance is generally pretty high on the Santa-coefficient. I mean I am a non-Christian living in a Christian nation and the thought of people dressed like elves, Christmas music on the radio airwaves 24/7, people putting up red socks on their mantles which cheap plastic things inside, and the sort, is pretty darn funny for a so-called religious holiday.
I do still want to know why Santa is even part of the Christmas experience. Not one Christian I have met knows the reason why he’s involved.
But when Target, a company I normally support, starts wishing people a Merry Christmas on their commercials prior to Thanksgiving it makes me want to shoot Kris Kringle in the face. Bloody fucking murder mother fucker.
Yes, I am bitter and no it’s not because it’s not a part of my heritage. I am bitter because it’s absolutely insane and lavishly overblown. And when you need so-called rules to delegate tact for selling spinning shit, there is something wrong. Then I remind myself I live in America and I sigh. Yes, I sigh.
It all comes down to the fact that Santa never had good kasha varnishkes. Things would be different and people would know who the fuck Santa really is.
However, I do think it’s the greatest thing (besides Kris Kringle and his cute little elves) that we don’t have free cable in our new house here in Butcher’s Hill. We are limited to 5 channels, which mean we’ll watch less TV. At least I hope. I did ask Santa to destroy our TV. Does he do that shit? Or does he only do good?
Did I tell you we live in the greatest rowhouse in America? More on that later.