Tag Archive for 'Christmas'

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Ain’t Yo’ Moma Fiddler

Yesterday was spent driving around Baltimore looking for a Christmas tree. Just like a good ol’ Jewish boy. We drove around to the lots, but couldn’t rationalize spending $10 a foot for a fucking tree. When we lived in DC we could get a Xmas tree from the elementary school down the street for $25. And that was DC as all the Baltimoreans like to point out. It’s DC. But in reality it’s not like it’s that much cheaper to live here in Baltimore. Hell the house next to us is selling for $450,000 for two bedrooms and the master bedroom has no windows. WTF?! Anyways… Ok. Let me clarify. I do feel Baltimore is less expensive to live in than DC. However, it’s not significant, like say Atlanta, GA or Duluth, MN to Washington, DC. That’s all.

After we brought the tree home from Home Depot… Yeah, I know. I can’t believe it either, but their price was really good and it’s just a tree, I guess. It’s not something I really think about much. But it would have been nice to get one from a family lot. Maybe next year. Catherine came over shortly after we got back. We we planned on writing XMas/Channukah cards and trimming the tree. But instead she played the role of unofficial spokesperson for Plaxo and LinkedIn. Plaxo basically syncs and updates all your contact information using Mac’s Address Book or whatever Address Book you use. It’s simply the bomb-ass. I heart it. It’s all about Syncing these days. And LinkedIn is a professional networking site. Sure we had Friendster and the Myspace. But there’s only so much of that I can take. Actually I take it back. I am still totally addicted, but it’s hardly professional when you have ads for Dashboard Confessonals every 3 minutes. And considering we’re starting our own business it’s going to be great for networking in the business. Again, I recommend it. And while Catherine and I networked and synced Emily finished putting the tree together. It’s purty:

Christmas '06 Tree

After all that, we headed to the the Creative Alliance in Highlandtown which has become my new favorite neighborhood in Baltimore. We were going to see Nice Jewish Girls Gone Bad. Basically it was like Yentl goes yiddish burlesque on crack. It was hysterical, like, to the max. Ok, actually, it was nothing like Yentl. Perhaps more like Sarah Silverman, but less uncomfortable. So if any New Yorkers are up for it. Go see it as they are based out of there and probably do more shows there. It’s well worth the $15 or whatever.

After the show we headed back home to park the car and we walked down the block to a new Irish Pub/Restaurant that just opened 2 weeks ago. Emily got fish and chips, Catherine got a stew and I got the bloody fillet mignon covered in bacon. Everyone’s meals were pretty yummy. Then we came home and Emily and Catherine got on the laptops:

Emily and Catherine

After that, we made up Catherine’s bed and hit the hay.


Irving, It’s Sad. So Sad.

Normally, I am pretty Christmas tolerant. My tolerance is generally pretty high on the Santa-coefficient. I mean I am a non-Christian living in a Christian nation and the thought of people dressed like elves, Christmas music on the radio airwaves 24/7, people putting up red socks on their mantles which cheap plastic things inside, and the sort, is pretty darn funny for a so-called religious holiday.

I do still want to know why Santa is even part of the Christmas experience. Not one Christian I have met knows the reason why he’s involved.

But when Target, a company I normally support, starts wishing people a Merry Christmas on their commercials prior to Thanksgiving it makes me want to shoot Kris Kringle in the face. Bloody fucking murder mother fucker.

Yes, I am bitter and no it’s not because it’s not a part of my heritage. I am bitter because it’s absolutely insane and lavishly overblown. And when you need so-called rules to delegate tact for selling spinning shit, there is something wrong. Then I remind myself I live in America and I sigh. Yes, I sigh.

It all comes down to the fact that Santa never had good kasha varnishkes. Things would be different and people would know who the fuck Santa really is.

However, I do think it’s the greatest thing (besides Kris Kringle and his cute little elves) that we don’t have free cable in our new house here in Butcher’s Hill. We are limited to 5 channels, which mean we’ll watch less TV. At least I hope. I did ask Santa to destroy our TV. Does he do that shit? Or does he only do good?

Did I tell you we live in the greatest rowhouse in America? More on that later.

The War on Christmas

Perhaps I am a little late. However I only browse this site every few months.

The truth is, anytime someone starts talking to you about how Christians are persecuted in the United States, you are — right then and right there — talking to a retard.

Quite possibly the most intelligent organization of words I’ve seen from wonkette.com. I don’t really have an opinion on what’s going on now with all this “Holiday” stuff. Oh who am I kidding? Of course I do. I just get a little irked when people associate Channukah with Christmas. The only similarity is that they typically happen in late December. And it’s such a minor holiday it isn’t even funny. Not nearly as important as Christmas allegedly is. I am done with the holiday flag waving. Wish me a ‘Happy New Year’ for Rosh Hashana. That I can get behind.

I’ve been thinking. The nickname for a Jewish person is Jew. When not said by a Jewish person it is usually associated with a negative connotation. Do Christians call each other Christs? I sure hope so. Does it beat goy? Hell no. But who am I to decide that. I guess it’s up to the good book to decide.

And this is simply frightening.