It’s that second time of year again when the Christians come out and are Christians for a bit and the Jews and other non-Christians feel that much more alientated, out-of-place and reminded about their minority in America. Perhaps this is why many Jews have such a complex about Channukah. But then again, we’re not the one’s trying to find the “largest tree” – Now that’s a complex! And sorry, Sister Christian, but there is no Jew on earth who has a Channukah bush. That’s insane.
I actually enjoy the whole Christmas thing. The lights, the music, the vibe, the family, the lack of religion. It is interesting how it’s the quintisential Christian holiday and yet it’s hardly religious. Don’t get me wrong, I am completely fine with that. Religion is kinda a scam anyways.
What really gets me is at work during this time of year when people say, “Have a blessed day.” Screw you! Blessed my ass. If I wanted to bless something or be blessed I would have asked. I don’t need your stinkin’ blessing. Like the “cuss jar” there should be a “religion jar” and anytime a stranger says something Jesus-like, they should have to pay you $20. Or bake you cookies or something. I’d support backrubs, too. Car washes would be acceptable. Christmas is a time of giving anyways, right?
Which reminds about Mr. Eaton (my high school Latin teacher). Whenever someone would say “god bless you” after a sneeze in class he would stop what he was doing and say, “Was a blessing really necessary?” – He was serious as all hell. I think that’s where the true admiration started. Shit takes balls in a Christian dominated society.
…off to go put my kippah back on.
And don’t forget to check out the latest Jib Jab. Always classic.
Jay is on Crack.
Jay was pissed as shit we couldnt do the gig. Luckily Jordan consoled him. I guess by default. At least it snowed. And at least I was big on recording virtually everything back then. Then years later my friend Aaron took it, processed it, and put it to interesting casiotone techno.
This shit still makes me laugh like no other.
Be cool and hear what the fuck i am talking about.
So in High School we were cooler than cool. Actually we weren’t cool. I sort of had an exclusive group of friends my senior year. We were primarily the kids in the Latin class for first period. Sara was in the crew too, but she didn’t take the class. There were a few others as well. Basically we all knew we were smarter and more ambitious than any one else at that school. We knew we weren’t going to be accountants or car sales men. We had better plans. We also made our own year book. We were THAT cool.
Mr. Eaton was our Latin Teacher/Decided Guru through High School. He was a very brilliant man. He also said some very brilliant things and provided all of the quotes in our yearbook. Here are some highlights:
“The amazing thing was that when I was born I had a dictionary in my hand.”
“There is no reason why you as an individual should not broaden your linguistical horizons.”
“It is a very easy thing to do – skipping from one gender to the other.”
“The whole world is rigged, you know.”
“If you have to move out of that hotbed of revolutionary activity in order to concentrate, please do so.”
“If music be the food of love, play on, baby!”
We weren’t really cool. We did listen to the Smashing Pumpkins and Jane’s Addiction before they became huge. Some listened to They Might Be Giants. We did go to the 9:30 Club before it moved to V Street. We did know about Traxx before other people knew it was OK to be gay. We did go to protests downtown supporting a women’s right have a fucking abortion if she so desired such an activity. We did go to Georgetown and pretend we didn’t have to be in 5th Period Marching Band. We did go to Fells Point in Baltimore on Senior Skip Day. We did go to Union Station just to hang out. We did go to the Outter Circle in DC and watched films. We were the ones that didn’t go to the pep rallies (or at least if in band, ditched it right after). We were the ones that said “Fuck it and you!” on a daily basis and outloud. We barely noticed the minute vibration of the football team and cheerleaders. We knew that makeup was for ugly people. We knew there was more to life. I wore dresses in high school. I wore nail polish. I frequently wore large blue afro wigs. I even wore tight long john’s and shorts. Sometimes with tights. Was I a freak? A lot of people tended to think so. Would I be now? Doubtful. I guess I was just an expressive kid. Did I turn out ok? I think so. I don’t eat bat’s heads now do I?
We were fucking cool.