Tag Archive for 'Jewish'

Inside The Apple Of The Jew

Well, we survived yet another year of our family’s Apple Picking weekend, at our cousin’s apple orchard in NY.

It’s virtually a family reunion on my Dad’s side of the family – that we do pretty much every year. All the crazy, loud, obnoxious, opinionated, & mostly liberal Jews from New York all in one place make for awesome & loud conversation. This usually equates to drinking lots of beer, wine and whiskey, and arguing the semantics of things we really agree on in the end. And there’s some apple picking somewhere in there.

It’s completely exhausting at the end of the weekend, but we’re always wanting more of it. I am so happy we have such a wacked out family that all gets along for the most part.

And I still think one of the best parts, sans the conversation, is the breakfast feast we all make on Sunday. The fried apple pancakes Zack makes are the best. Topped with cocoa and sugar is stellar. Stellar.

Pictures are here, yo.

On Becoming A Man

So according to the customs of Jewish law, you are a man (or a woman) when you have your Bar (or Bat) Mitzvah. This is complete shit. It’s not really the way things work.

In reality one becomes a man in the eyes of Jewish law when one can go to a Jewish bakery (or bagel shop) and order bagels, lox and cream cheese for a party of 4 without hesitation.

I’m not as cool as the rest of you

Ten Things I Have Done That You Probably Haven’t

  1. Lip synced and danced to Mony Mony by Billy Idol in grade school.
  2. Built a theremin from parts bought at Radio Shack.
  3. Was raised Jewish.
  4. Got to shoot (photography-wise) 3 of my favorite bands before they broke up or died.
  5. Sans a few years in high school I totally get along with my parents.
  6. I had a CAT Scan and an EEG when I was a kid.
  7. Tried to find the Dischord House with friends in college.
  8. I’ve been to the majority of the Smithsonian Museums minus the Postal Museum and the American Indian Museum.
  9. I almost studied Music Therapy in college.
  10. Made my first home video at age 27.