Tag Archive for 'Kristen Herring'

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So, it’s that time again, Kristen Posting Time, and I have no idea what to write about. I’m having writing blocks lately. That and word blocks. I’m having problems remembering the names of things. For example, “bananas” = you know those yellow fruit things… “sisqo” = that naked black guy…I have to actually look at things and think really hard to come up with the names of things. I think I might attribute this to becoming a sponge for information at work. If there is anything that you want or need to know about human resrouces (basic info and some times intermediate levels of info, I can tell you). I’ve started to write in resume, New York City, Aug 2000-Present format.

I have learned who it is good and not good to work for, I have become the human vault.com (along with the human internet movie database, with the exception of when I am with Jamie, because he seems to have seen everything and his grandmother, and makes me look like a movie amateur). I have figures and numbers in my head from scheduling, from reading and learning who is under and over educated, I have personality characteristics that one should look for in a candidate, I have the responsibility to learn things and retain them for all eternity to become a professional. So, I am left with these little spots of brain shortages. It’s like that really old lamp that is so old, but you love it so much that you deal with it’s little light bulb shortages. I have become my favorite Ikea lamp.

Along with my being a veritable sponge for new information I have realised that a Monday through Friday work week kills me. By the time Friday comes at 4:00 pm I’m done. I am absolutely used up and running out of gas quickly. So, I am proposing a four day work week, they have it in Great Brittain, why not here? We can say fancy slang british terms like “wanking off,” “bullocks,” “shite,” “arse,” and the like and yet, not run out of gas by Friday from too much info-overload. Who is with me?! We don’t need Chavez or anyone else as labor secretary, we just need to up the minimum wage (which all states will have done by 2002; Vermont and Connecticut being the highest pay increases) and give ourselves a four day work week.

To go along with my new national plan of the people’s work week bill, I have decided to go and check out a New York City Hip Hop class, now I know some people have seen me dance (ehem, family members, friends etc.) but do not fear, my rhythmless whitegirlness will not hold me back. I’m hoping that going to the best hip hop teacher in New York City will work out to my advantage. If I really try I think I can do it. I’ve taken dance before, it’s just I’ve never taken a Hip Hop steppin out to the sounds of Dr. Dre class before. I think I’m ready to search for my roots. I’ll keep everyone updated.

…When I grow up

When I grow up to be a Pop Super Star:

When I grow up to be a Pop Super Star I will:

…never dis madonna.

…never watch the Real World, I will be the Real World.

..(ala cairene suggestion) get a meaningful post coital, snuggle, kiss on the head I love you.

…read every british magazine imaginable and try to mimmick up and coming seasonal fashion.

…will never pick up another copy of Cosmo or go to Cosmo.com again.

…elect a real president.

…lash out against Time Warner and convince my speech professor that it is in fact a more horrid monopolization than Mircrosoft – Rage Against the Machine style.

…never sit in an office for more than 15 minutes unless it’s to contemplate my next Grammy Awards or MTV Music Awards ensemble.

…be best friends with Brittany Spears and go shopping on 5th Ave with her when she’s in town.

…dance like a mutha!

The Post Holidays Post

This shall be my first post in the post-holiday season. I’ve been away, and slowly coming out of my Holiday coma. The month of December is finally over, I’m sad to see it go, but it’s just a matter of change and I am welcoming all aspects of that. The business that was December physically drained me. The begining of the month I was on vacation in Austin, the middle of the month I was shopping and wrapping more gifts than Santa’s Elves (Mat, that’s a goy thing;), and the end of the month I was enjoying all of the business that was December.

This weekend I woke up to what I thought was a minor snow storm, then reality hit me and I realised this was not normal. I tried to go outside to get to the bodega down the street and head off to New Jersey and realised that, ‘Hey, my front door won’t open because I am literally snowed in.’ Yes, that’s right my front door was now a non-moving issue in which I was absolutely stuck and probably the jaws of life would not get me out. (Funny thing was is that I would feel that same “trapped” feeling for the rest of the weekend.) I did absolutely nothing that day and was feeling the effects of cabin fever. Two friends that live in my ‘hood came over and I walked through my very first snow storm. I learned that night that the mayor was a liar and the DOT and Dept. of Sanitation did not salt nor did they use a snow plow in my neighborhood. I had my first lesson in walking in the snow and not killing myself. We went and got food, pastries, and beer and came back here and talked and drank.

On Friday, I went to my very first Hockey Game, the Devil’s vs. the Capitols, yeah the capitols sucked, It was the most awesome time, I have found a new sport that I’m in love with, Hockey. All the bad dirty stuff you hear about hockey, it’s true! It’s a bunch of men beating the crap out of one another and loud music, pure tasteless fun! My man Chris Terreri made a billion saves with every part of his body, he danced in front of the goal he was funkay, that’s how I picked the mean-spritied gruff Jersey Devils as my new hockey team (until I see a cooler goalie). Mid-game I suddenly had a rocking Pierre Chvotkin bring Carvel Ice Cream back to me, I had been making jokes that we needed a dad to go down and get us Carvel (all the dads kept bringing Ice Cream to their kids), suddenly Pierre became dad. (You rock dad!).

I finished off this year with celebrating my New Year around the world via many phones and time zone switching. At dinner my friend received a phone call for new year’s in Italy, after going to Brooklyn and driving my said friend’s car into an avalanche of snow celebrated this New Year in New York and then in Austin as well. So, far today has been a relaxing begining to my new year. I have decided that this year is the year that I am going to sit back and watch what happens. I’m going to ride the tidal waves of the up and the downs and basically going to sit and say, “Whatever” and let it all go. That’s the way we celbrated our New Years Eve if we go out fine, if we have to stay in that’s fine too. I’m gonna steal Mat’s phrase, Cum Salis.

To you, my dear Mat, Cum Salis.