Today I read an article that I think Elle about posted on the BBS about a man who chopped off his wang because he was thinking bad thoughts and the bible told him to cut off his wang if such thoughts came to him. Well it didnt say that, in fact it never even inferred it. But this feable bible man thought it did. This is rule number #1 why religion is not for me. Here are my rules why religion is lame.
#1, You fucking feable idiot
#2, You fucking feable idiot
#3, You fucking feable idiot
That is basically my thought on the whole religion deal. If only the bible was a Dr. Seuss book. We’d all have stylish hats (IE. tall white and red striped hats) and would drive bitchin’ cars. Life would be so much more fun and less lame-asses. I am telling you though: I want to revolutionize religion and make a buck in the making. I want to start drive-thru church. Everyone seems to love going to church. If you have the time, go to a parking lot at a church on sunday morning, and behold, all the empty parking lots will be full! I shit you not. And for the most part, most American’s like drive-thrus. Hell there is even a drive-thru pharmacy which in fact is the only real practical use of a drive thru (ie. yer sick, stay in yer damn car and dont get my ass sick). I think It could really take off. We could even have value meals. $3.99- One hail marry, one slap on the wrist. $6.99- 5 hail marry’s, one lashing on the buttocks. And family value meals. Just like at Kentucky Fried Chicken. Maybe even those $19.95 specials for gay marriages and $29.99 for an exorcism. I could be the mastermind behind all of the future of making money in religion. Every church would envy me. And I am a Jew! Speaking of JEW.
This morning Jimmy Eat World came in, so I took some pictures for the website. Jimmy Eat World is a DC101 band that I actually bought the CD of it before we waited to play it on air and get the promo CD. And of course the studio is awful for lighting, but you do what you can do. I didnt go to the show on Sunday with Weezer cos I’ve seen Weezer a few times before and they are just dreadful to watch…fucking boring. woah, i am all over the place
This weekend was spent at Emily’s place in Baltimore. She needed help on two photo shoots for class. One was for the Pubic Hair Salon (and yes, a mirkin was used, mind you), and the other was more a self-portrait kinda deal. The Pubic Hair one was with a medium format camera which was cool for me to use, cos i’ve never used one before. I only mistakenly exposed one half roll of film. Appologies. And yeah, considering that was my first semi-nude shoot, I did pretty well. Well it wasnt 100% nudity. But there were buns. And from time to time you could see the goonya and some trimmed hairs. And it wasnt weird with another girl there in the shot. Very relaxed and cool. I really only set the shutter speed and set up the frame of the shot. I occationally metered the light and moved the reflective white boards. Mega cool time. I could get used to this.
Sunday we went to brunch at the Silver (Paper) Moon. Maybe that is like our church. I do forget which. I got my 3 eggs with home fries and ham. Yum! Then Jessie came for the photo shoot as talked about above and drank some herbal (momma) tea. She seems very cool. Very chill. Out of all of Emily’s friends I think I may get along with her the most. I mean we’ve barely even conversed, but from what she’s talked about with Emily and just overhearing, I can tell. Just a premonition though. Maybe not though. She does seem the most down to earth. Most natural and least tainted. Sunday night we went to this Korean restaurant. There was lots of bloody meat being cooked in front of me. Totally made me want to vomit. The food was so-so. Nothing special at all. But it wasnt MY birthday. It was Amy’s. Addy’s Amy. I cant remember how old she was turning. Maybe 28? The appetizers they brought out before the meal was also something that reminded me of rotting deer (and yes, i’ve actually smelled that). So that sucked (at least I gave it a try) but was redeemed by a savory dessert place in Little Italy. Emily and me got some death by chocolate thing. It was a chocolate canoli cake thing with chocolate icecream with fudge and chocolate chips too! To die for. After dessert we went back to the apartment and did her self portraits. That was very quick. Then I went home.
I did get my copyright forms back from the Copyright Office in DC. This time it only took 3 months to process. The least time yet! Go me. Going to the post office will happen this weekend too. I need to mail Allison her sweatshirt and Daniel his contacts. Slacker mat. Today work was busy as fuck, but it went by really quickly. I also played a prank on Elliot. He wont find out tomorrow so he may talk about it tomorrow. We’ll see. Ooooooh, it’s a mystery!
Oh yeah and the DC101/Clear Channel holiday party was last thursday. Pretty uneventful. Lots of people. Lots of appetizers that looked nasty, but Emily liked them. One think I love about her is that she LOVES food. She wont discriminate. And she eats it, she just doesnt say she likes it. Tres cool. There was lots of beer and wine. I had my apple juice tasting wine that kept me happy. Hung out with Laura a little. We bailed early and went to Fado’s. That was better and less noisy. I just hate schmoozing. Makes me dizzy and makes me sick from the pettyness of it all.
What is up with my four digit credit card bills. I have no money anymore. I need to remind myself to not buy anything ever. Anyone want to start a MAT fund. Pay up! Or maybe this is a sign to start my drive-thru church!
And I got Charles Manson too. Great minds.