I lead a bling-free life. I have no diamonds and pearls.

Fuck it, I’m going to the beach again. This has been a Beach Lite summer, and thus I am cramming all my deserved trips into a 2-month period.

This Morning

Husefell: You have problems.

Elle: I have problems?

Husefell: Yes, problems. You whine, you don’t workout, you eat like shit, and by the way, all my food is stale too. Just because you live like this shouldn’t mean I have too. And this bubbling noise is driving me out of my mind. My lifespan is only something like 10 months, so in essence I am quite elderly. Please make my last days on this planet more comfortable. For Chrissakes, the NOISE! And, you are talking to a fish.

Elle: That filter keeps your tank clean. Besides, your mind is the size of a pinhead.

Husefell: I know! So I don’t have much to spare.

Then my roommate came down to do laundry and caught me talking to my fish. Oh, man. The phone calls she must make to bitch about her weird roommates. Probably similar to calls I make to my friends about her.

New to Me, et You

–I am going to be an honorary aunt to a girl named Anna. She is just a few inches right now, but she has big feet and will be born in January. Somehow the world is better because of this.

–I skipped work yesterday, slept in, ate cinnamon Life cereal, went to the doctors and got good drugs that will heal my body, watched TLC, and threw socks at the people on “The Dating Story.” (Who are they kidding? I can’t stop watching this show. It’s hideous.)

–I also went to Sig Other’s house last night, and we watched the Miss Teen USA pageant with his roommates, who are pervs and were glued to the screen. Miss Indiana was STACKED. No one in MY high school looked like that. Well, maybe a few girls, and they were too busy getting it on with substitute teachers to enter beauty pageants. Anyways, last nights program was really quite remarkable. And, it made me embarrassed for my sex. Quite good for a laugh though, and I just hope someone gets a hold of all these girls and de-programs them in time. Nothing makes quality television like Miss Idaho crying over the fact that no one likes her because she’s dark skinned, or Miss Massachusetts putting on her “serious face” and talking about saving all her friends from committing suicide. Miss Texas better watch her back, too. People in that state kill over things like this. Sweet Jesus.

Upcoming Groove Schedule

9/8, Dismemberment Plan. Fletchers, Baltimore
9/14, Built to Spill. 930 Club, DC
9/15, Richmond. Not sure yet who, but I bet I can track down something to see there that weekend.
9/21, Samples. 930 Club, DC
9/25, Sigur Ros. 930 Club, DC
9/26, Wilco. 930 Club, DC

Wear your good gowns!

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