my aim is true

adios amigosSo here I am. One week left until the move. I have started that familiar nervous feeling again. But it’s only because I still have yet to pack all of my shit up.

I‘ve been having these “lunch dates” with an old friend lately. I haven’t really seen or spoken to this person much in the past few months/year. We both lead our own lives, which do cross paths once in a while; but when they do, we still don’t get the opportunity to interact. Our “timing” just hasn’t sync’d up yet.
I have a strange, unspoken bond to this person. I have no idea what it is, nor do I know where it came from. But it’s still there – even after all this time has passed. Whether or not this friend still thinks so, I’ll never know. But I am still just as much intrigued and pulled to this person as I was the first time we met.

Which makes me a little uneasy when I hear that this person is soon to start something huge in their life. And I’m jealous that I can’t be here, in Philadelphia, to watch it grow.
I’m jealous because it’s a thing that I once toyed with/considered myself. My idea was half assed. Their idea is whole hearted. This friend is actually going to pull through and do it. Mad Props, friend. Mad props.

I‘m disappointed that I won’t be able to see things change. Instead, I’ll have to settle for emails and digital pictures. I’m excited for the possibility of what may happen. I’m nervous in that I want this to go well – and to be a big thing, but I don’t want them to ever question themselves or doubt their intentions. I know this is an extremely good “thing”, and I can only offer my full and undivided support. From the West Coast. You will understand, won’t you?

I will always look back on these “lunch dates” with a tilted head and an awkward grin on my face. I will miss this.

To the people I work with… there are some of you I will miss, and there are some of you I won’t. It’s no big deal. Those I want to keep in touch with, I will. Please don’t take offense if I don’t – I can only listen to your stories so many times before getting bored. I enjoyed the two years I’ve devoted to you, but it just wasn’t so. I wasn’t meant to work at a desk all my life. And you weren’t meant to deal with someone (as undevoted to the job) like me for the rest of your career. I need a job where I can surf on the internet without having to worry about it being tracked and recorded. So, continue on your way, and I’ll start anew.

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Damn, I’ve got some good friends.
Damn, I’m spoiled rotten by everyone I know and love.

So thanks for all of your support and good words.
This move may change me. It may not. But deep down, “Jessica” will always be in there somewhere. It can only get better with time.

Jessica is off to re-establish herself out west.
Los Angeles, California, Watch Out!!!

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I‘d like to finish by ending with a few words of wisdom that have been spoken to me over these last few days….

Between yesterday’s regrets
and tomorrow’s future,
lie today’s opportunities.

“Meet me out tonight. Alone.
Yeah, I know you can’t make it alone.”

Time spent laughing is time spent with the gods.

“You’ve often wondered about being content and doing what you love. When you think about it…with every photo you take and every show you listen to…aren’t you doing exactly what you love already?”

Have a Beautiful day!
– do me a favour and check out my favorite band of all time. Convoy

3 Responses to “my aim is true”


  • Good luck Jess!! But remember, there ain`t no party like an East Coast party!

  • hey jess, you still goin’ to the DPlan in Philly on sunday before you go out West? lemme know

  • not sure yet….
    mightbe having a family/friend “sister graduation/jessica going away” kind of party.

    going to nyc this weekend, will catch them fri night at the bowery.

    email me your info so i can get in touch with ya

    jess

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