DC Metro Rules #65 & #191

#65: When wearing purfume on the Metro. Don’t. Do you smell bad and need to cover up something? Do you have fungus growing somewhere? When you sit down and the person next to you starts swelling up and coughing and sneezing just about 10 seconds after you sit down, don’t you think something was up? I really don’t get you people.

#191: If you are so fat that when going down the escalator you can’t allow people to walk down on the left side, you should proceed to two other options. #1: Take the elevator, Fat Albert. #2: Start walking up and the escalator to let people through to get some damn exercise so eventually when you are tired and don’t want to walk down the escalator others that have the will to walk will be able to. Damn.

But please don’t get me wrong. I love the Metro. Washington DC has the best subway system in America. I just get pretty irritable in the morning. That’s all.

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