kitty: it’s whats for dinner

before they reorderedA rhyme for you:

If I were fertile in the 80’s,
I would have had New Order babies.

Hello there my poppets. It’s been such a long time since I ranted about anything (my tuberculosis test aside). I know you have missed Angry Elle v1.0, so Angry Elle v2.0 is here. Older and unimproved. A shitty second version of myself. Like a sequel that never should have been made. Let’s begin.

Fukkit. Nevermind. It’s not worth it. I was all prepared to go into a long diatribe, and now I don’t want to. Let’s just leave it at this… everyday, I dislike your Presidents actions more. That’s all I have to say. Show’s over. I have a headache and I don’t want to even start.

Other Actions:
Last night Sig Other and I watched the Astros kick the crap out of the Cardinals. It was 17-11 or something. Homerun after homerun. His Fantasy team is wading in shit at this point.
Today, I’ve spent most of my worktime trying to figure out how to get to Santa Fe for vacation next year.
I also bought an Etta James CD off of Amazon.
I did my hair into little ponytails and braids using paperclips.
I ate a chicken sandwich.
I told my mother I would go to water aerobics with her, but I think I was lying.

Now here’s the thing about water aerobics. It lives up to every stereotype that is playing in your little heads as you read this. Overweight older women, desperately trying to fix years of childbirth and smoking and wathaveyous by squeezing into skirted lycra and praying for the best. It’s horrifyingly…comforting. You have to give these women credit. I’ve also come to the conclusion that my mother only really attends as a pickmeup, since she’s the youngest and best-looking woman there. The little vixen.

For myself, it’s like “Trading Spaces” on TLC. Nothing good can come of it. Oh sure, maybe I’m getting some type of organized exercise, but it’s paced for women that haven’t exercised since the Eisenhower administration. I am the youngest by a good 25 years, the second youngest being my own mother. It’s run by a fanatical Chinese woman. The Chinese woman is so hilarious she is actually the major redeeming part of water aerobics.

Anyways, maybe I will go. Do some jumping jacks. Practice my synchronized swimming moves. You have no idea how hard I have to fight myself in order not to show up in orange swimmies/floaties every week. It would mortify Moms.

Elsewhere:

Katharine Graham died. For those of you not from this area, Katie Graham was the head of the Washington Post. She also was a groundbreaking, the only woman of her time to serve on the board of the Associated Press, and an institution in the news and publishing worlds. She changed the course of a bankrupt little newspaper, and therefore changed the course of a nation. She epitomized Free Speech and would go to jail rather than turn a blind eye on censorship. I really thought that Graham was one of the greatest women Washington had left to offer. However, she was nosy and probably hard to be friends with. She came from the wealthiest of wealth. She was a snob, albeit a kindhearted one. She couldn’t bear to miss a thing and always had to be at the center of action, the center of attention. By all accounts, Katharine Graham was a raging bitch. How can you not miss that?

“Bart, with $10,000, we’d be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like…love!”

2 Responses to “kitty: it’s whats for dinner”


  • fyi: I’ll have you know that I, not unlike the “l*t’s g*t r**dy t* r*mble!” guy, have trademarked the phrase VIXEN. so, either let me know whether to bill you or your mother for this infringement on my copyright, or have a signed check ready on sunday. mwah!

  • from now on, you are Vixen (TM). And everyone else is V*xen.

    nothing beats an original, after all…

    e

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