Happy Birthday Baby Jesus

It’s that second time of year again when the Christians come out and are Christians for a bit and the Jews and other non-Christians feel that much more alientated, out-of-place and reminded about their minority in America. Perhaps this is why many Jews have such a complex about Channukah. But then again, we’re not the one’s trying to find the “largest tree” – Now that’s a complex! And sorry, Sister Christian, but there is no Jew on earth who has a Channukah bush. That’s insane.

I actually enjoy the whole Christmas thing. The lights, the music, the vibe, the family, the lack of religion. It is interesting how it’s the quintisential Christian holiday and yet it’s hardly religious. Don’t get me wrong, I am completely fine with that. Religion is kinda a scam anyways.

What really gets me is at work during this time of year when people say, “Have a blessed day.” Screw you! Blessed my ass. If I wanted to bless something or be blessed I would have asked. I don’t need your stinkin’ blessing. Like the “cuss jar” there should be a “religion jar” and anytime a stranger says something Jesus-like, they should have to pay you $20. Or bake you cookies or something. I’d support backrubs, too. Car washes would be acceptable. Christmas is a time of giving anyways, right?

Which reminds about Mr. Eaton (my high school Latin teacher). Whenever someone would say “god bless you” after a sneeze in class he would stop what he was doing and say, “Was a blessing really necessary?” – He was serious as all hell. I think that’s where the true admiration started. Shit takes balls in a Christian dominated society.

…off to go put my kippah back on.

And don’t forget to check out the latest Jib Jab. Always classic.

5 Responses to “Happy Birthday Baby Jesus”


  • I always thought there might be a cultural thing there I didn’t get, but “have a blesséd day” always sounded to me like “*I* go to church!” It makes me want to tell them their hubris is showing.

  • MR EATON!

    Hahaha…that guy was awesome! A walking paradox. The epitome of geek conveying the cool.

  • When I was five or six, I always thought that after somebody sneezed you were supposed to say ‘Bleshu.’ I never really tied it to ‘bless you.’ I still like thinking it’s ‘Bleshu.’ It’s more abstract. And kind of sounds like a sneeze. Why should you be blessed after sneezing, anyway? Actually, I like what the Italians and French say: Salut! You should definitely be saluted after sneezing. Cheers!

  • Just yesterday I heard a newscaster say that Christmas is Christians’ most importnat day. But I thought that was Easter, technically. My mom’s making me go to church tonight even though I’ve told her I’m an atheist. The thing is, we’re going to a Catholic Church even though my mom’s not religious. It was my dad who was Catholic and I thought that since he died I dind’t have to go anymore! In any case, I’ll be counting fur coats tonight.

  • Thought this was an interesting extension to this post –
    A new VH1 special on the cultural hipness of being Jewish:
    http://www.vh1.com/shows/dyn/vh1_all_access/97703/episode_about.jhtml

    And some critical commentary about it on NPR:
    http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5061315

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