Metro Opens Doors

I heard the new “voice” of Metro this morning. Quite honestly, I wasn’t impressed. Not to mention the awful new two-tone sound they created. Before it was the nice robot voice that fit perfectly with the slightly cold people and clean and simple archetecture of DC. Now it sounds like we’re on the lightrail in Minneapolis. This ain’t no midwestern town, don’cha know.

What’s beneficial is that the “voice” suggests to move to the center of the car. There is nothing more annoying than a bunch of tourists (or people from Virginia – sorry Elle) who don’t understand that packing a car during rush-hour is easier when people move to the center.

I heard there was going to be some sort of countdown for the closing doors. I didn’t hear that this morning, but if they do that in the future, I wouldn’t be surprised if they install BB guns in the walls and start pelting you or shocking you if you get caught in the door. In fact I would prefer that.

PS. I rock. And I’m Cute.

2 Responses to “Metro Opens Doors”


  • Years ago I was waiting for the Metro at the Roslyn, and a few oblivious souls were apparently standing too close to the edge of the platform. Suddenly a non-automated human voice announced, “Ladies and gentlement, please step away from the edge of the platform.” I looked around for this Big Brother, but couldn’t find anyone with a uniform and/or microphone, and assumed he was hidden somewhere behind the cameras.

    A rather large fellow evidently didn’t quite grasp the seriousness of this announcement, and the voice then boomed, “That includes you too, chunky.” Quite a few people laughed at this poor guy’s public embarassment, but others like myself were standing there like, “Damn, that was a little harsh.” I’m sure that guy probably would have preferred a BB gun.

  • I tried to disembark this weekend at L’Enfant Plaza, right into a perfect semicircle of people standing around the door waiting to get in. Honestly, they stand smack in front of the door and go all _tharn_ when people try to exit the train.

Comments are currently closed.