There’s No Pussy In Team

…a few things things that drive me nuts about (our) cats.

  1. They refuse to learn.
  2. When you are feeding them they get on top of the bowl so that you end up showering them with their food and it gets all over the place. I guess eventually it all is eaten, it’s just so cat-like and gets on my nerves. It also doesn’t help with their unnaturally obsessive behavior surrounding food.
  3. When you are running down the stairs and the cat(s) are at the bottom of the stairs, you would think they would move out of the way. But no. They just sit there waiting to see what would happen if I happened to trip on them. Instead I put on the breaks and look and feel like an asshole. Way to go pussies. Note: This can actually take place anywhere in the house and is not limited to the confines of the stairs.

I assume this will be a long standing series.

This has helped immensely. Much needed therapy. Thank you and goodnight.

5 Responses to “There’s No Pussy In Team”


  • Excerpt:

    Diary of a Cat…

    DAY 761: Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair…must try this on their bed.

    DAY 774: I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The Bird on the other hand has got to be an informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue (something akin to molespeak) and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait; it is only a matter of time…

    more here… 😛

  • I’m glad to see that cats drive other people crazy, too. Mine has this weird obsessive/compulsive habit with her water bowl. I push it against the wall, next to her food bowl, and she’ll nudge it with her paws until it is smack dab in the middle of the kitchen floor, before she’ll drink from it. Of course, in the middle of the kitchen floor, it is prone to getting knocked over by the feet of the humans trapsing about, which means water gets all over the kitchen floor, etc. Why she can’t just leave the goddamn water bowl next to the wall is completely beyond me.

  • I can only join the chorus of voices on this one. Amen, I’ve got a crazy cat too! My cat seems to think that the best thing to do with her water bowl is not simply to drink from it, but to utilize the “stirring paw technique” where she stirs the water about. Slowly at first, then with more swift motions to make sure the water is splashed all over the kitchen floor. I’m sure her plan is to make sure, I track water everywhere and get it on my dry socks when I walk into the dark kitchen…as well as trip over the bowl in the middle of the floor.

    I always say, gotta love them kitties.

  • Bleh, I just move my cats when they start something.

  • we have two food bowls for our cats, which I find kind of solves the problem of them crowding the bowl. I start pouring into one and Harrison jams his head in the way and starts chowing, so I just move to the other bowl, where Lucy is waiting patiently for me to finish pouring the food. I guess it helps that one of the cats is kind of polite, though.

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