it’s me, it’s me, it’s jimmy b…i don’t live in colorado

jessica_bra (11k image)Today will now go down in the history of Mat as “Hell Day.” About three months ago i asked my boss for a scanner. A few weeks later he asked the IT person if she had any extra scanners laying around. Of course she did. Really nice HP ones as well, but you needed a SCSI card to get it all hooked up. So fucking shit. It wouldnt work. Then the bosses great idea was to network the one scanner in our room. Brian had one. It was rather inconvenient to get him to scan something for me, especially when i typically scan 10+ items at a time. So the boss was supposed to ask the IT person to set that up over 2 months ago, but i guess he never asked until today, i found out. Excellent.

So the shit hit the fan today, when i sent my boss a link to order a USB Epson scanner for 99 bucks. And a link to a 300 bucker SCSI card. I said, “You make the choice.” Or something to the fact of that, but more PC and respectful. I got an email back from him where he CC’d the IT person asking if she could network Brian’s scanner. Even if the IT person got it set up, shit would never get done. It would be too inconvenient to scan more than one item at a time. Of course i got an email back from the IT person saying networking HP scanner cant be done with out a special piece of hardware that costs more than i make in 3 months. So that got nixed real quick.

The boss’s next great idea was to ask the IT person to just search really hard and find a SCSI card. Basically he thought one would just appear out of thin air. At this point my blood was really boiling. And if you know me, i am generally very easy going and dont ever get mad. Today i was throwing things and yelling profanity at the movement of anything. My frog moved to the left and i yelled bloody murder. Lara sneezed and i yelped, “FUCKERS!” Al flipped a page in a manual and i hit my desk and screamed, “GOD DAMN MOTHER FUCKERS!” I had enough. I had to go higher up the ladder. But only after getting a stack of 60 pictures to scan in for the morning show’s trip to Japan. I had to go home to my mother’s house to use their scanner. I was livid. Livid like a crazed oppressed jewish man on a rampage for ham.

I emailed the head honcho that the morning show host at DC101 refers to as “spineless.” He’s the farthest thing from that, so it’s really fitting in that ironic way. Even Emily has respect for this super (anti-)corporate man. He emailed me back 5 minutes later to meet with him at 5pm. So in the end i told him my dilema after only hyper-ventilating once. He even made up a story of how he found out about me going home to scan the pictures. Spineless was astounded i was regularly going home to scan photos. He was apalled. So in the end, the super-suit came through for me and hooked a brotha up.

The one thing that got me through the day with out a homocide was the fact that we got ice cream from some vendor. I forget from whom. Brighams? Or is that in Boston? I had two bowls of mint chocolate chip ice cream complete with fudge. Yum. And the music meeting today was good. Fun.

Driving home from work i blasted the fuck out of Dismemberment Plan’s “emgerceny and i.” Then since it was so beautiful outside Laura and myself went out to take pictures of moving cars. And this one 40 year old man in a suit went by on a skate board. That was cool as we sang Pavement’s “cut your hair” and “stop breathing.” The we came back and ate amy’s vegan pizza and hung out with Andreas.

Anna Nicole Smith is on TV now and gives me hope that my record label will be successful. Oh, the effects of drugs. What a waste of oxygen. She might as well be a dime-a-dozen DJ. She
pretty much already is.

“I know nothing about nothing, oh yes.” – Anna Nicole Smith

Things going on:: Camping this weekend. And planning Emily and my road trip to Boston and NYC for the week after memorial day. Andrew WK is playing our 3rd Annual Pool Party. I am excited about that. That will rock me amadeus.

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