it’s all too much.

ganserlibrary (16k image)i really didn’t apply to too many colleges. i never really thought about stuff like that. i was really into playing music, and besides that and girls, nothing much else seemed to matter. so when a university contacted me….one that i had not applied to….about coming out to check out their music program, i jumped at the chance. i was reeling. the percussion instructor called my home and told me he’d heard me play in high school and thought it’d be cool to have me as a student. fuck. that is the first time i remember feeling like i had some sort of gift. so i made the trek out to the university and met with him. i had to audition with three different pieces on three different instruments. i chose set, marimbas, and snare. snare being marching snare…..yes, as in marching band. stop smirking cause i’m not ashamed of that shit. i got all my chops there. you can’t play like that, so fuck off. 🙂 the marimba piece went very well. it was something i had played a million times before…so it was no sweat. the set piece was just improv….it could’ve been better. i was a little disappointed. the snare piece was the bread and butter, though. i had taken a piece we had played the previous season and rewritten it….taking out all of the long rests and uninteresting parts and adding others that would spice it up. rudiments! i also handwrote it, and the professor was really impressed. so like that, i was in. i thought this was going to be the greatest thing i had ever done.
fast forward a year. all of the classes i had to take as a music education major were pretty much bullshit….to me. i enjoyed some of the theory classes and the instrument classes….but i couldn’t get into the education classes. i am not a teacher. so i dropped the education and switched to music business. what a fucking mistake. everything was the same, save one music business class. it was the biggest waste of money i had ever seen. we talked about nothing. when the syllabus was handed out, there was actually a section about music retail. RETAIL. some of you have been to music stores before….you’ve seen the idiots who work there….you know, the guys wearing rush tour shirts. sad. so i had to actually get up infront of the class with another student and act out a scene in which i try to sell an instrument to him/her. so being the ham i am….and the university lacking anything resembling a prop….i sold him an air guitar. i did karate kicks and actually yelped a “woo!” at one point. i couldn’t believe i was paying for this. after that class, it was all down hill. i soon lost interest in the entire program, except my private lessons….the one place i thought i was actually learning something. eventually, i just dropped the ball and quit.
there’s actually a lot more i wanted to say here…but i’ve rambled on enough. i wish i had a good ending to all of this….but i don’t. i wish my college career as a music student was better. i wish i had stuck it out. i might be a lot happier….but maybe not. it’s a hard call. i would definitely be a better musician. and i guess that’s my point. i feel like i’m lacking in some aspects. i’ve always wanted to go back and finish it….but i can’t bring myself to do it. maybe some day….

2 Responses to “it’s all too much.”

  • you just went to the wrong school for music business

    eh…who needs school anyways…

  • yeah, if i had done more research before going there….i probably would’ve realized how bad the music program was. ah well….

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