we’re desperate get used to it

2girl (19k image)Application to Elle’s weirdo cult

Name: Mat Jesus Prince

Age: (circle one) Young Medium (Old)

Eye color: Green
Robe size: Small to Medium, preferably pink.

Head Circumference: As long as they are white and funnel shaped i am down
Choose One: Staff Trident (Fairy Wings)

Past Cult Experience: Dude, I was born in to a Jewish family. That HAS to be enough. And I know a hell of a lot of Christians, if that’s not enough.

Where I Can Reach You: my email is jesus@jesus.com

Essay: See below.

Thanks Kim for the survey below! I love these things. And words of wisdom from Daniel himself: she seems like a keeper, so don’t fuck it up.

> 1. What time is it? 01:01 p.m. est
> 2. Name as it appears on your birth certificate: Matthew Brian
> 3. Nickname(s): Matsilla, Maty, Jew
> 4. Parents names: Francine and Neil
> 5. Number of candles that appeared on your last birthday cake: None
> 6. Date that you regularly blow them out? 12jan
> 7. Pets: none, only a theremin and vocoder
> 8. Eyes: Hazel
> 9. Hair color: brownish
> 10. Piercing: none
> 11. Tattoos: none
> 12. How much do you love your job (1-10)? 8.6
> 13. Favorite color: yellow
> 14. Hometown: Gaithersburg, MD
> 15. Current Residence: Rockville, MD
> 16. Favorite food: Vegan/Vegetarian
> 17. Been to Africa? Nope, but my Cousin was in the Peace Corps in Cameroon
> 18. Been toilet papering? No
> 19. Have you ever been in love? Yes
> 20. Been in a car accident? Yes
> 22. Sprite or 7UP? Sprite, no question.
> 23. Favorite Movie: Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure/2001: A Space Odyssey (tough tie)
> 23. Favorite Music: Anything good and funky is a good thing too.
> 24. Favorite Holiday: Passover / Any
> 25. Favorite Day of the week: Saturday and Sunday mornings
> 26. Favorite word or phrase: “Okeeeee Bert” (said by Ernie)
> 27. Favorite Toothpaste: I’m a Crest kid
> 28. Favorite Restaurant: Yuan Fu’s right now
> 29. Favorite Flowers: Daisies
> 30. Favorite drink: Lemonade
> 31. Favorite sport to watch: Hockey
> 32. Preferred type of ice cream: Anything with rich amounts of chocolate and fudge
> 33. Favorite Sesame Street Character: Snuffalupagus
> 35. Favorite Fast Food Restaurant: Subway/Blimpie
> 36. When was your last hospital visit? It was in the 80s
> 37. What color is your bedroom carpet? Brown, i think. I don’t really look there much.
> 38. How many times did you fail your drivers test? None.
> 39. Who is the last person you got email from before this? Kim!!!
> 40. Which single store would you choose to max out your credit cards: Ikea/Audio Advisor/Tower
> 41. What do you do most often when you are bored? I am rarely bored, but when need be, I’ll rent movies and that tub of blockbuster popcorn rules!
> 42. Name the person that you are friends with that lives the farthest: Bennie Sibrack or Mark D. who are both in San Francisco.
> 43. Most annoying thing people ask me: Why do you have one “t” in your name?
> 44. Favorite TV show(s): Simpsons, My So Called Life, X-Files
> 45. Last person you went out to dinner with: Allison, Emily, Elle, Daniel, Allison II and boyfriend.
> 46. Time you finished this survey: 01.06pm

like puppies chasing butterflies

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