Monthly Archive for December, 2002

paula zahn and her collagen lips of love

Traycard-Exterior Proof (10k image)When Emily lived in Baltimore and i first started staying over at her place, her cat Lulu (the slightly overweight one) would be quarantined out of the bedroom so i could have a decent night’s sleep sans pools of snot. Then the whining and crying began. Lulu is pretty much a unconcerned bitch. Any human who acted like that would be pinned a diva, a fucking pain in the ass, needy, and a snob, but because she’s a cat and is fury it’s excusable. It’s a fucking scam. I still don’t understand that with cats. Dogs, it’s understandable, but fucking shit, at least you can train a dog to not whine and just in general not be annoying. So anyways, last night i stayed up finishing up loose ends with MONSiii and didn’t get in to bed until 2am. Not a big deal. When i finally got to bed and started actually going to sleep, Lulu became “Mrs. Fucking Bitch.” Just like she was in Baltimore. She wouldn’t stop whining and crying and being a complete and utter nuisance. So all in all, i might have slept around 2 continuous hours last night. Now i am going to drive to New York City and then go to a few random parties and prolly be up way to late with complete strangers. Fun. Goddamn, why cant Trans Am be a little loyal and play some DC for New Years. It’s a fucking scam and I am going to put Lulu out of her goddamn misery soon. Cats are so fucking worthless and ungrateful. However I do give some credit to Mulligan. She’s can be very fun sometimes and quite loving. But anyways, i digress.

So the end of December has notably become the time of reunion. All my friends come back from undergrad and grad school. All my friends come back from their new homes to see their family and friends. It’s a great time of the year for me when I get to see my friends who moved away through the years and catch up. So Sunday I was supposed to see Jamie and Lisa. Jamie had to bail because he got Redskin’s tickets so it was ok. And i see him through the year anyways when he’s down from Portland. But i got to hang with Lisa for a few hours while she was in town. It was nice and all old school hanging at the diner. That place never gets old to me and their turkey burger is pretty killer. Then last night I went out with Jessie. To my dismay, she hadn’t ever been to the lovely Takoma Park so I took her to Mark’s Kitchen. That place rocks. Granted I saw Jessie last summer so it hadn’t been that long a time for not seeing her, but we totally caught up on all our silly gossip and family traumas. December is a good month. I also seem to have really good poohs during this season. It must be the abundance of the goys food that’s just goes right through you…

(29dec2002) :: finis coronat opus – monsiii v8

coming soon to a one stop near you - monsiiib (17k image)
01 pollux 06:33.53
02 adhara 06:43.09
03 procyon 06:43.22
04 kentarus 03:51.72
05 castor 05:17.54
06 sirius 08:25.34
07 shaula 02:52.31
08 hadar 02:11.57
09 canopus 04:09.04
10 vega 06:22.63
11 capella 03:59.45
12 deneb 06:21.61


mons:: stimulus frequency for the localization of sound in space
recorded and mixed by mons at skylab studios
fall 2000 – winter 2002
mastered and edited by mons at mir studios

all songs written by mons
and performed by mons, except
02 bells:: d harvie
04 vocoder:: j roland
06 voice:: n armstrong, j lovell, g cernan, g beeler, n dorsey, zut
10 voice:: feetnik
05 10 theremin:: nova
02 04 10 12 drums:: d harvie

all songs published by
olympus mons music (bmi)

love:: mom and dad, d harvie, e le[…], j herndon, m degliantoni, j dungan, s pollack, paia, j handelsman, k mattus, b bailey, k runett, e rohman, l kaneff, j chvotkin, c merriner, polaroid co, continental tape machines, j delaney, a&z shipley and om crew

design:: spoon media

quamquam tale sollumne imprimis ad iuventutis usumaptum est, tamen temperata quopueaestas temporum practeritorum memor hoc loco libenter perhoram quandam exsultat

(c) 2002 mons, all rights reserved
(p) 2003 olympus mons records
po box blah blah

philiflash:: you think they call and check?

blue_streak (15k image)So i got thru another year of Christmas without puking Jesus out my anus. In fact i had a great Christmas, the best one yet. Last night me and Emily went over to her Mother’s place for a nicely microwavedly reheated dinner. Then we exchanged gifts. It was nice and quaint and the exact bi-polar opposite from what was to happen later in the night. Emily’s mother and boyfriend were very nice and we exchanged gifts very much like i image they would in the 50s. Beaver?

So pretty much anyone who has known me for more than 30 minutes knows that I cant digest milk or milk products. It’s just bad news. I eat that stuff and my pooh goes liquid instantly. It’s pretty damn unpleasant for everyone involved. So what does Emily’s mother prepare? Ham, that’s fine sans the microwaving part. And then come the buttermilk biscuits, and greenbeans in a cream sauce and creamy mashed pototoes. Genius. I could only have the ham. Sometimes people are so self consumed and oblivious, but whatever. And it didnt end there, they got all these desserts with cream filling and butter cookies. It was almost funny to think about what they would bring out next. “Would you like a glass of milk, Mat?” And i am not ungrateful, but they could have said something like, “I realize you are lactose intolerant, is there something else we can get you?” But alas, I am the non-goy and she is the goy. It was her day anyways. Yeah, Baby Jesus! We deal. But next time either I am cooking or i am eating else where. Jesus Christ. I really dont have much else to say about that. I think the gift exchanging was the highlight of that part of the night. Cos the rest of it i was fearing what might happen to my asshole and digestive system and fearing what was going on in Emily’s head about her Mother. But i did come up with a few great activities for when she meets my mother. I’ve narrowed it down to 3 things. 1. Climbing ladders on the side of the house (ideally when it’s raining); 2. Ice hockey; & 3. Cross country skiing. All things that will be great for her new knee. She should get out anyways! Har har.

So after my Christmas dinner trauma was over, we journeyed to Emily’s father’s place in Baltimore. We talked all night and then just went to bed. In the moring we opened gifts and just talked all day still in our comfortable yet stinky pajamas. We had of breakfast of organic eggs (and get this, they werent “cooked” in a microwave!) and chicken sausage. Then we played with our Christmas gifts and talked and watched Bob’s sports DVDs, and watch Christmas Vacation with Chevy Chase and napped until it was dinner time. Then we ate again. Nan (Emily’s cool step mother) cooked a ham (in an OVEN! A fucking marvel of technology.), Green Bean Caserole, stuffing and mashed potatoes. It was splendid, even though I passed on the potatoes. So all in all, Christmas rocked with Emily’s Family. Emily’s family is quite fun and full of chatty people who always have something interesting to talk about. And nothing is better than a family that curses like a sailor. Aww yeah. HAPPY BABY JESUS DAY! Oh yeah and best of all Emily loved her Bjork boxset I got her. And I am totally enthralled with the 4×5 handmade wood box camera she bought me. Time to learn pin hole photography!