Tag Archive for 'Jewish'

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does the kiss fit

Today was a busy day indeed. Basically for the past month (ie. since i started at DC101) the Marketing Manager and the Music Director have been working with this company with me that was recently acquired by the mother load company, ClearChannel Communications. This is the company that just acquired SFX. Anyways, this is all details…So anyways…basically we have been working for the past month to rip out a brand new site for the station. A redesign if you will. I was working with a few producers in L.A. to help this flow along more smoothly. I had to get input from the boss at DC101 and then some stuff that needed to be there from the boss at Clear Channel…I have learned to balance the two in a very quick amount of time. So anyways…we have been migrating from the old site to the new site and slowly propagating it. Actually, I have been doing all of the migration. Not happy about this, but I guess I am the best person to do this. This process was done at my former job and took almost a year and with a whole team. We are doing it in 2.5 days. Granted it’s a little bit smaller, but this is really making me proud. I am happy about the outcome. Of course it will take some more work and soon enough it will be more ironed out. Tomorrow at noon the new site will be live. In about a month it will be better than it was a month before. I am excited for this. Proud like Jesus. The real Black Jesus that is.

So I got home way after dinner and just had an Uncle Ben’s rice thing. It was yummy. I also had some left over sunchips from the weekend and a chocolate chip muffin from Bagel City. Then Mom and I watched a Kennedy Center honors program on my fellow Jew, Carl Reiner. Love that man. (Love his song’s work in Spinal Tap too!_ In fact most of the best comedians/comedy writers were Jews. Neil Simon, Mel Brooks, Sammy Davis Jr., Billy Crystal, & Jerry Seinfeld. And i guess you have to put Woody on there too. (Props Zander- If only you had tits) I don’t think he’s funny, but most goys seem to get a kick out of him. Anyways…it was really interesting to see Dick Van Dyke out there. It’s funny how I’d always chuckle about his first name when I was a kid. Now I chuckle when I hear his last name.

Speaking of Jews. Here is something from my new favorite book, The Big Little Book of Jewish Wit and Wisdom, Edited by Sally Ann Berk:

A lot of people say to me, “Why did you kill Christ?” “I dunno…it was one of those parties, got out of hand, you know.” “We killed him because he didn’t want to become a doctor, that’s why we killed him.”

Awapy?! Where are you and when are you getting yer tall ass back to the hood of ROCKville!

the truth about women

A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. All of a sudden he said out loud, “Lord grant me one wish.” Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice the Lord said, “Because you have been faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish”

The man said, “Build a bridge to Hawaii, so I can drive over anytime I want to.” The Lord said, “Your request is very materialistic. Think of the logistics of that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of another wish, a wish you think would honor and glorify me.”

The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, “Lord, I have been married and divorced four times. All of my wives said that I am uncaring and insensitive. I wish that I could understand women. I want to know how they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give me the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say “nothing” and how I can make a woman truly happy”

After a few minutes God said, “You want two lanes or four on that bridge?”

lou reed

Jewish MulletThe JewishMullet is apparently cleaner and more intelligent than most other mullets. This species usually minds its own business and is absorbed in studying Finance, Accounting, Medicine, Law, or Physics. The problem is, he also really wants to RAWK! (Kind of how Neil Diamond really wanted to rock American style in The Jazz Singer.) When these 2 seperate, yet unique worlds collide, it can be very confusing and disturbing for both the JewishMullet and us (visually atleast).